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Venture War Games - A Giant Problem

Join Pasquale Malespero at Port Venture for the first in a series of outlandishly unlikely war scenarios inspired by legend and myth. Scenarios meant to test your abilities to think on your feet and tackle the unusual - as well as entertain.

(OOC: Pasquale will be supplying the soldiers. You can expect rolls to be a mix of war and leadership)


May 19, 2023, 7 p.m.

Hosted By


GM'd By



Eirene Medeia Jan Cillian(RIP)



Outside Arx - Lyceum near Port Venture - Port Venture Festival Grounds

Largesse Level


Comments and Log

Pasquale has called for a check of luck at normal.
Cillian is successful.
Eirene is successful.
Jan marginally fails.
Medeia fails.

The day before the event proper each contestant is given a squad of volunteer soldiers and a day to do whatever they need to do to get used to each other. There is also an opportunity to look at the 'opponent'; a large dummy with four rotating sections which function like quintains, two straw 'arms' that spin around in a similar fashion, and a head made from a net full of watermelons. Each of the rotating sections can be stopped by shoving the supplied, very fake, swords into enough of the pre-prepared holes and you win either by taking out the net and spilling melons everywhere or by stopping three of the sections. Easy right? It might be if those arms and spinning sections didnt keep turning and whapping soldiers with sacks of straw big enough to send the biggest man sprawling anyway. The sections are turned by crews off to the side. The festival teams were really rather creative.

Today though, on the day of the actual contest, Pasquale is stood in an area clearly meant for the host, speaking to a couple of heralds who are to do all the shouting for him. Yay for delegation. The herald announces. "Today we gather for what is likely to be the first in a number of tactical scenarios that I hope will be both fun and educational. There will also be prizes. Behold the first scenario: THE Giant!" and as the herald speaks the first section starts turning with a creak. "Victory can be gained by disabling enough of its body parts or by destroying the head. Luckily we have brave soldiers to hand and" he gestures dramatically. "A couple of specially set up scorpion ballista for those adventurous enough to try. Lots are being drawn for the order of action today.. And Lady Jan Kennex is to go first."

Eirene claps for Jan as she's named the unlucky first general. This gives her the opportunity to watch and learn. She folds her arms over her chest to observe.

Jan checks command and leadership at normal. Jan is successful.

Medeia has made the journey to observe the games and provide assistance in the event anyone becomes injured. She's wearing her aeterna gown, which she normally wears on shift at the hospital, and has a bag of medical supplies at her side. But for now? She has settled off to the side to see what happens.

Jan tilts her head and sizes up the scorpion balista with a purse of lips and then starts bellowing orders. Since these aren't her men she points when she commands. Indicating who her commands encompass and then flinging her hand towards the target "Go Low boys and girls! A giant that's watching it's step can't mind where it's swinging nearly as well!" seeming to forgo attempts to calibrate the siege equipment and instead trying to knock one of the target's feet, or legs from it.

Cillian leans forward to watch how Jan deals with the GIANT, he hmms as he tilts his head to the side taking mental note of how she handles it. His hazel eyes darting about watching as Jan deals with part of it.

Jan's soldiers seem happy to follow her orders, throwing themselves into the given task of disabling the bottom segments as quickly as possible. A solid half of the troop gets caught out by the turning bags. Soldiers tumbling down with an oof but steadily enough of the 'swords' are pushed into place and that bottom segment slowly comes to a grinding halt. One down. Two to go.

Eirene is eyeing the Scorpion and watching Jan's soldiers in the opposite approach.

Jan checks command and war at normal. Jan is successful.

Jan continues to direct her soldiers to render the giant unstable in the attempt to topple it though she pauses here and there to BELLOW and point at fallen making sure they are drug out of the way and then wading in to help haul the 'casualties' out of harms way and changes tack directing attacks to the enemy's 'arms'.

The soldiers manage to climb up on the disabled first section and push the sword-pins into the slots which stop those big staw arms from circling the area. It might seem an odd choice as the arms were easy to dodge but it certainly makes the 'giant' easier to approach.

Jan checks dexterity and war at normal. Jan is successful.

Jan commands a retreat and with the aid of her remaining manpower aims the Ballista and loads it, aiming as carefully as such a thing can be aimed and then letting the projectiles fling free towards the target-but only ONCE all casualties are cleared from the range as it were.

Eirene continues to observe with a calculating eye, formulating her own battle plan.

Jan's forces manage to smash up some unfortunate melons but a couple do manage 'head shots' , though it takes multiple bolts and a lot of melon carnage but eventually the heralds declare victory leaving a number of bolts from the siege weapon sticking out of the ground behind the target.

Shifting to the ballista Jan's soldiers pull them inside the range of the now disabled arms before starting to fire them off. Theres bits of melon scattered over many of the soldiers by the time the Heralds call the victory and a team comes in to reset everything for Eirene's turn. "Congratulations to Lady Jan Kennex" calls the herald. "For achieving victory after 30 minutes. Next up we see Lady Eirene Riven."

Eirene checks dexterity and war at normal. Eirene is successful.

From where she sits, Medeia appears to be frowning at the giant thing Pasquale has constructed for the event. Her head shakes gently, and someone might overhear her muttering about how "melon is easier to clean than viscera, at least."

Eirene had been eyeing the Scorpion since she first got here. "These fuckers work on the real thing," she tells her troops. "Seen them first-hand at Bastion," she says, grim. "Shoot 'em in the head and chest, bring 'em down." And with that, she has them crew it.

The giant's 'arms' sweep away much of the fired bolts, but not enough to truly bring it down. She scowls at the melon not flying as much as she'd like to see.

One of the heralds presents Medeia with a tray of sliced melon.
Meanwhile down on the field bits of melon splatter from the net as a couple of bolts rain in moments before one of the ballista's and its crews is pushed away by the arms. It turns out they can change angle! As with the soldiers who get knocked over the ballista is marked as lost and removed from the collection. Meanwhile the battle continues:

Eirene checks command and war at normal. Eirene is successful.

Eirene has had the chance to observe the enemy and changes her tactics. "Okay, gentlefolk, let's push in. Dodge the arms as best you can to make a closer attack. I've been hit by the real thing before, it's NOT FUN."

Eirene's new tactics cause the soldiers to run on in and start clambering about the dummy to disable those pesky arms. Roughly half of them get sent tumbling onto the bark (and melon) strewn ground but enough get into place that the arms slowly stop turning.

Jan settles in to watch "Show 'em what for, Lady Eirene!"

Eirene checks command and leadership at normal. Eirene is successful.

Medeia accepts the offered melon with a delighted laugh, finding some sort of odd humor in nibbling at 'giant flesh.'

Cillian nods his head to Jan when she returns to sit, "Good job." he says to her then looks back at Eirene to watch her.

Eirene goes for her final attack. She draws her sword and yells, "Give the melon monster a proper smash! Last person standing gets a bottle of whiskey from my private reserve." And there he is. The soldiers climb and get knocked away, but one climbs the netting and saws through viciously to victory!

There is only one soldier left at the end but the cascade of tumbling melons and rapidly deflating head make it clear this is also a victory. "Lady Eirene Riven gains victory in a very solid thirty minutes!" calls a herald. "And our final contestant for the day is Lord Cillian Blackwood. So far our best victory has taken thirty minutes. Can he manage it sooner?"

Jan gives Cillian an encouraging finger-wave and salute with her flask.

Cillian checks dexterity and war at normal. Cillian is successful.

Cillian nods his head to Eirene as he gets up and moves down onto the feild, he moves to stand with the troops that were given to him. He is dressed in his leathers and such as if he was going to war! He nods to his mean, "Like wwe trained." he says in his thick northern accent. He moves for the Scorpian, to send some bolts into the GIANT!

Once again the arms get lifted and spread out enough that several ballista (and their crews) get knocked over and sent sprawling. Bits of melon 'gore' spray down but the giant is far from defeated.

Cillian checks command and war at normal. Cillian is successful.

Cillian leaves the scorpion and brings his sword out, "Spread out, take the arms! " he yells, he himself tries to move as quick as he can. Getting in to stop the arm so that they can climb up and chop the head off, some of his men get lost but the net is cut!

The arms slowly grind to a halt but there wasn't enough manpower left over to go for the net just yet..

Cillian checks command and leadership at normal. Botch! Cillian fails completely.

And the body segments are still turning and hazardous. The climb to the net will be perilous indeed..

Cillian thought he had it in hand something distracts him and he went to take a step up and he loses his grip up near the top. Falling off he tries to twist himself to land right but thats not happening, he lands on his side taking most of the brunt with his shoulder with a sick thunk and a cry from from the Northern Lord.

Jan watches this and there's a bit of a wince when she realizes the situation Cillian's in and swallows the urge to shout encouragement. She winces when he takes a hit. Gaze seeking the physician in the audience.

And now Medeia is on her feet, eyes narrowed as she surveys the field and looks toward Cillian. She doesn't rush in, but she's ready to move as soon as it is safe for her to do so.

And Cillian's fall takes the heart out of the soldiers who were trying without much success to climb up the still turning segments. Instead they gather around Cillian and carry him off to the medical tents. "Lord Cillian Blackwood unfortunately joins the others in the medical tent" Announces the herald. "Finishing the day. Today we saw two disable the Giant, both in a similar time. Congratulations to Lady Jan Kennex and Lady Eirene Riven, our joint winners. They, and their teams, will receive prizes later. We hope you enjoyed the games and spectacles."

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