1 Templar Knight guards, Sir Daniel the Beardless, a somewhat hapless Templar, Kevin, a jerk wolf spider with a really shitty attitude who totally sucks arrive, following Hamish.

3 Tyde Houseguard, 2 Redwood Initiates arrive, following Lethe.

The place is BUSTLING. There are Harlequins running around stacking crates and making sure big, kind of scary looking contraptions work. Well, 'work'. It's incredibly chaotic, as one might expect given the theme. On top of the Harlequins are various people who've been making the Downton Follys a thing before Archlector Hamish decided to make an official thing happen, who are excitedly making certain things are extra dangerous for the new players.

When the time comes a couple of Harlequins who looks like they're halfway between honored and horrified walk out, face the wrong way and very, very badly play some large brass horns to announce the arrival of Blessed Hamish Farmer, who comes in on a wagon being pulled by some very fat pigs. After clambering off and heading up to the platform in the middle one of the Harlequins calls out, "Here's this jerk!" And the other bounces an imported mango off of Hamish's head, then the two climb off the platform. Hamish turns to the crowd and says, "Welcome one and all to the first, and almost certainly last, Downton Folly! I wrote a whole speech, but on the way here a pig ate it, so I'm just going to go ahead and say that everyone should get out there and break a leg. Or both! It might be the best way to win! Now! There are some important rules this evening, and as soon as I think of them I will tell you!"

Korka's eyebrows raise at the wagon pulled by pigs and her lips quirk a bit at the corner at Hamish's description of the rules. Arms crossed, she's leaning a shoulder into a large nearby crate, eyes scanning the crowd to see who is here and who might be lining up.

Evaristo has been here 'helping' out - though as a contestant he was asked not to help with the actual contraptions, perhaps afraid he'd cheat. But, he's too lazy for that anyway, his helping consists more of walking around LOOKING like he helps, which he is the absolute expert on. When the wagon moves up, he jumps up on a crate to see better. "YEAH ARCHLECTOR HAMISH, WOHOOO!" he shouts, pumping a fist in the air.

Someone throws a potato at him.

Monique is there. She's not late! Garbed in something completely unfit, and thus fit, for a folly, she shows up wearing an ironwool-scaled of opalescent lilac, cut scandalously short. At least it works for the weather. She definitely didn't just throw a potato at Evaristo. Her hand drops inconspicuously to her side.

Insaya works the strings that control the puppet legs on her backpack, so that 6 limbs go up in alarm. No breaking legs, even if some are redundant. Clickclickclick. She finds a place to lean.

Azova is just here, really. Off to the side, and out of the way of any stacked crates and contraptions. But not far enough out of the way that Hamish's enticement to break both legs doesn't make her visibly grimace and shoot a glance his way. Loaded up in Mercy white, pointy hat, and various Lagoma imagery she is obviously there to heal those people who obtain the broken limbs and not be doing anything to break them herself.

Felicia's among the many to show up for the Folly. Clad in loose shirt and comfortable pants, she's nursing an ale as she prowls through the crowd and finds a spot to set up and listen. The ale might just be a 'pre-game warm-up'. A sharp whistle of approval offered for Hamish even if it winds up with a wilted lettuce thrown her way.

Symonesse arrives with her usual contingent of King's Own and, tonight, an actual escort in the form of Aindre, upon whose arm she maintains a loose hold as she looks for some place to sit and observe without being in mango-and/or-blood splatter range. She stops in her tracks to watch as Hamish is pulled in by pigs and then shrugs her shoulders before resuming the hunt for a seat. She glances at her companion, grinning a touch as she murmurs, "Are you going to compete tonight or do you place value on your neck remaining unbroken?"

Lucrezia rolls down the dockside with her electric gait, grinning like a shark. Once she arrives, she leans against a crate to listen to Hamish and wait for the fun to begin.

Raymesin lowers the large brass horn he'd just persuaded to make a sort of strangled fart noise, and grins as he retreats to a spot behind a crate.

Wash leans on the railing of the Bounty, close enough to hear and see, far enough away not to intrude with his interest in watching, not participating.

Lethe arrives to the event with a curious and eager expression. She looks around to see who is here and find a good place to watch.

Scratchy linen shirt? Check. Scratchy linen pants that have been cut high on her legs? Also check. Sydney makes her way in, scratching ignobly at her sides. "Gods, I'd forgotten just how I /missed/ my old linens. The comfort. The absolute joy of them." She meanders on over to where Raymesin's sorrowful toot came from, and offers, "Feeling unwell? I keep cautioning people away from the Mystery Stew."

Evaristo glances around suspiciously, the potato having smacked him right in the chest, breaking apart - maybe it was a little rotten. "I SAW THAT, I'll get you later," he lies, and tries to look threatening. Buut, his big smile returns quick - if he's going to get upset about a thrown potato, he's at the wrong game.

Khaavren, a dutiful assistant arrives, delivering a message to Evaristo before departing.

"Rule one. Don't call it a folly. If you hear someone call it a folly you need to look them directly in the eyes and tell them a hard truth. Even if it's a made up truth. About you, about them, about the world. Just make sure it's haunting. Rule two. If you see a prince or princess, you must greet them with a bow, as is only right. Now I'm not going to say that it should be the most sarcastic bow anyone has ever done, but I'm not saying it shouldn't. This doesn't apply to kings or queens, because I like my head where it is." Hamish looks over the crowd just in case he sees a prince or princess and, on spying Lucrezia, gives her such a bow, arm up at the side, head going very low. When he sits back up, "And rule three doesn't exist, so _do not ask me about it_ or else I will throw you in the harbor." He pauses and looks over as a pair of beefy Harlequins bring in a large barrel. "Oh, and should you go out in a contest you can, one time this evening, find a copper bit in the bottom of the barrel to rejoin the contest."

Hamish drops a chocolate-pudding-filled barrel large enough for two men to sit in.

Hamish waves toward the contraption near the middle with the wheel on its side and says, "First up is the music competition. You can sing. You can play. It's all very straightforward and honestly I think we all look forward to hearing something delightful. Grand prize is a truly beautiful lute." Hamish holds up a lute case, which is definitely very nice looking, but also isn't a lute. "There's a lute in there. Promise. Now, who's in?" He looks to the wheel, then adds, "Oh, and that will be spinning during the contest and if you get knocked over you're out, because no one wants to hear your music from the ground. It's tacky."

Aindre Grayson arrives with Queen Symonesse loosely upon his arm, unable perhaps to help the smile that overtakes him whenever Blessed Hamish arrives on a cart pulled by some extremely large pigs. "I hope they're chasing the smaller swine around. Then again, safety is hardly the word of these is it?", he mentions to his companion just before he question causes a laugh to erupt from him. There is a small shake of his head and nearly unbidden a grin takes his own lips in kind and it's hardly a small one at all, "I've been looking for a good place to get my neck broken, but I was hoping for a different season..", he promises, spotting a seat that looks perfectly out of the range of any flying people or fruit, one he can gesture toward and offer out.

Evaristo's grin is widening a bit - he is after all a bard, so that game does sound like something he'd do well in, though to be fair, this game isn't about being best at singing. Probably. He glances about to size up the competition - he bows flourishly to Lucrezia.

Monique doesn't throw anything else at Evaristo, mostly because her hands are empty, and also because she's turned now to listen to Hamish explain the rules. Her lips twitch up and laugh escapes her lips, and she steps forward to compete. "I'm in. Until I'm out."

Evaristo raises a hand and hops off the crate, elbowing his way up to next to Monique. "Minx," he greets her, winking flirtatiously.

Felicia drains her mug and sets it aside with a shrug of her shoulders,"I'm down." she calls out aas she dredges herself to her feet, sliding a glance Monique's way with a lopsided smirk,"Well... this should be a short competition if it's you two and me." she chuckles.

Evaristo has joined the line.

Malice lights in her eye as Hamish declares his second rule and her slash of a grin grows wider, more hungry. It would be folly indeed to bow to her. Now, who would risk their life to do it? Pushing off her crate with her foot, she all but lunges towards Evaristo. "The third rule is I get to kill those who do the second rule." Naturally!

Lucrezia has joined the line.

Felicia has joined the line.

Korka is not known for her musical prowess, but she pushes off the wall and weaves through the crowd towards the people that seem the most like they're apt to be in line for it, "Is this the line for the folly?" she asks rather loudly.

Monique has joined the line.

"Too Many Titles," Monique greets Evaristo with a salacious waggle of titian eyebrows. "You're looking good enough to throw in the harbor today. Ah, Your-Almost-Majesty," she greets Felicia with that same teasing good humor. "Protect me from the spinning thing and I'll give you a cut of the prize?"

Furio stares directly at Korka and says, "Its not."

Korka has joined the line.

"No, I'm afraid killing people is still illegal, or else I assure you we'd have a few interesting guests here from far off lands. Murdering people is actually a good way to get a stern talking to! I'd probably get one, too. And I don't need another one of those." Hamish looks to those participating, gives them a nod and says, "To those about to create music of some sort, neat!"

"Oooh, do I detect an ounce of jealousy of my many FINE titles, Minx of the Marches?" Evaristo teases good naturedly. He turns an upnod at Felicia, glad to see her, clearly. "This will be amazing fun." Lucrezia? HE sticks his tongue out at her, then steps forth to start the game.

Evaristo checked dexterity + performance at difficulty 20, rolling 26 higher.

Evaristo checked luck at difficulty 5, rolling 22 higher.

Turn in line: Evaristo

Turn in line: Lucrezia

Lucrezia checked charm + performance at difficulty 20, rolling 3 higher.

The Queen nods at the seats that Aindre's points out and weaves her way over there, laughing as she does, "Oh, I agree. Summer is a terrible season to die. If you get to choose, I always say to choose Spring. Or maybe Late Winter. Summer deaths get gross really fast." Symonesse's dainty little nose wrinkles as she takes a seat and glances toward those lining up to compete. "I am so tempted to ask him about rule three. Just to see if he -could-." As she glances around, Symonesse sees a small contingent of Nox'alfar seated and observing the commencement of the games with entirely -too- interested expressions. They each also have a conveninet crate of mostly not entirely rotten produce nearby. Symonesse waggles her fingers in their direction and then turns to watch as she leans in to murmuring something to Aindre with a smile curving her lips.

Felicia snorts,"I don't think you can give me a cut of a token, Minx." Felicia shakes her head and clears her throat, rocking briefly up onto the balls of her feet before settling down again with the mutter of,"I'm way too sober to be doing this one. But... nothing ventured..."

Of course Azova has to pipe up. "No killing!" in admonishment. Because it may be unnecessary, but when on duty she is apparently quite humorless. And this time with her side glance, she actually smiles at Hamish! As he said it first, and thus she appears quite incredibly relieved.

Lucrezia checked dexterity at difficulty 5, rolling 25 higher.

Sydney offers a laughing shake of her head, and listlessly paws at her thigh where her flask should be resting. The perils of wearing the same thing all the time and then changing one's clothes. "I need to be far, far drunker than I am for this..."

In spite of her protest, she angles over toward the line

Turn in line: Felicia

Sydney has joined the line.

Felicia checked dexterity + performance at difficulty 20, rolling 19 higher.

Felicia checked luck at difficulty 5, rolling 9 higher.

Turn in line: Monique

Monique checked charm + performance at difficulty 20, rolling 45 higher.

Korka flashes Furio a quick smile that's a little too full of teeth, getting in line behind Monique, "Oh good, I want to make sure I'm nowhere near it because who would ever want to play a game that could be lethal?"

With a strong voice, Evaristo starts singing as he moves in around the course of the musical chairs, doing some acrobatic sommersaults too. The song? The most ridiculous song about a rooster and a crow, that compete about the food and end up starting a small war, more and more ridiculous events happening in the verses. He's juggling some potatoes that gets thrown at him, and throws them back out into the audience, he's skipping, leaping, hopping.

Monique checked dexterity at difficulty 5, rolling 47 higher. Monique rolled a critical!

"If I don't get ter kill people," Raymesin grumbles, "No-one does." And with that, he's reaching into the crate in order to fish out some fruit and vegetables that have definitely seen better days. He grins toothily, and once the first contest has well and truly started he starts pelting the contestants with things that just aren't food any more.

Turn in line: Korka

Korka checked dexterity + performance at difficulty 20, rolling 1 higher.

Korka checked luck at difficulty 5, rolling 12 higher.

Turn in line: Evaristo

Evaristo checked charm + performance at difficulty 30, rolling 35 higher.

Evaristo checked luck at difficulty 8, rolling 25 higher.

It's probably because Evaristo accused her of being jealous. The song Monique sings is about Evaristo, and it's entirely tongue-in-cheek about how amazing he is. The Minx lists his very many fine qualities all while she shadows his movements in a way that would definitely be annoying, at the very least, distracting at the most. Especially in that teeny, tiny ironwool dress.

Sydney pauses, and rethinks this particular contest after watching what she's up against. She doubles on back to where Raymesin is, clearing her throat, "Nevermind. Actually, I ain't drunk enough for this. Gimme something to lob, Ray."

Except for the competition beginning, Lucrezia would have followed through, despite Hamish's words. What's a festival of death without death? Competition over killing, this is a strange day. Performance might not be her bailiwick, but she makes an interesting show of keeping upright despite the spinning and sings, very off-tune, some ribald song about sailors and the sea.

Felicia is not about to be the next darling of the bard's college. Sure. She can hold a tune. Mostly. She's gone for a popular dockyards song that's entirely not suitable for polite company... something about a lady with a man in every port. She weaves to duck out of the way of some of the thrown produce, narrowly missing a face full of rotten tomato when she steps atop a chair for a warble of a crescendo that would probably make any professional bard wince.

Korka gets in the wheel and she's off! Holding her dress up in one hand and showing flashes of white knee as she tries to keep up with the rolling, her song is less lovely and more bawdy because it's way better to shout something than to try to be lyrical when you're also trying not to fall out of a big wheel, "If all the young men were like pipes I could pla-ay, I'd be the piper and blow them all da-ay! Roll your leg over oh roll your leg over, roll your leg over the elf in the moon lalalalala la! Lalala lalalalalala!"

"I... why Lady Monique," Evaristo says as he passes her by, dancing now rather than doing acrobatics, even going so far as the take her hand and swing her daringly if she lets him - but then he laughs and focuses, now doing a rhytmic marching song that has a lot of innuendo in it - enough to make some blush if they care to think on it. He does get pelted by various icky things, but takes it in stride - sometimes he throws things back at the audience. He thumbs up at Korka's choice of song there - that's an old favorite.

Turn in line: Lucrezia

"Spring, really? I suppose middle-Spring is lovely, but where is your love for the Autumn weather? Such as it may be here.", Aindre asks, letting that wide grin of his chase into something more like an easy smile, "I think late Winter would make for a poetic end though, I agree.", while he's weaving through the people along with Symonesse. His gaze follows her own along over to the contingent of interested Nox'alfar where his attention lingers for several long moments while he's adding, "I won't say I don't think there isn't a good chance of seeing someone tossed into the harbor, but I don't think it will be you. That's my suspicion." He teases, if just so, before leaning to catch whatever is whispered while his gaze pivots toward those now performing. The amusement that grows across his expression almost looks like a thing that can't be helped.

Lucrezia checked charm + performance at difficulty 30, rolling 9 lower.

Raymesin nods a greeting to Sydney, and steps to one side to make room for her at his crate. He glances over towards the Nox'alfar, who mostly seem to have had a similar idea, then launches another soft pear towards the wheel and the people in it. There's no blood flowing, and yet he's smiling.

Lucrezia checked dexterity at difficulty 8, rolling 8 higher.

Turn in line: Felicia

Felicia checked dexterity + performance at difficulty 30, rolling 28 higher.

Felicia checked dexterity at difficulty 8, rolling 6 higher.

Hamish gives Symonesse a grave look. "You are very tiny, your highness." Well, compared to him. "And when it comes to dying, I've always found a nice late fall death to be good. It's going to be winter soon anyway, so you're not missing much and when spring comes around bears can eat you!" He frowns slightly and shakes his head. "God, I hate being eaten by bears." He very much doesn't look to the Nox contingent, despite being the host of the event and them being a very interesting group of spectators. A bold Harlequin stops by and sets a wooden box of moldy potatoes, onions and turnips down in front of them. Hamish turns his attention to all of the people singing different songs and making a horrible racket. "Gods, this is beautiful. Tonight we honor Jayus as well as our Queen of Endings!" He glances to the increasingly large rickety pile of boxes, then says, "Well, maybe not 'honor'. Give a half-hearted high five to?"

Turn in line: Monique

Monique checked charm + performance at difficulty 30, rolling 19 higher.

Monique checked dexterity at difficulty 8, rolling 25 higher.

Turn in line: Korka

Korka checked dexterity + performance at difficulty 30, rolling 10 lower.

Lucrezia glares and glares at all that are booing at her singing, but that doesn't stop them, it would seem.

Monique swings happily with Evaristo and for a mercy, leaves him be. It's too much effort to sing and dodge rotten vegetables, AND focus on not giving the crowd a peep show. The song becomes a heckling of the crowd as they heckle her, instead, an ode to their inaccurate arms.

Korka keeps on going, she might even be grinning for a brief moment as she belts out, "If all the young men were like boats on the ocean! I'd be the sea and I'd show them the--WHOA!" she shouts as she trips, then catches her heel on her toe, tries to hop and ends up rolling on over oh rolling on over rolling on over and falling out onto the ground.

Turn in line: Evaristo

Sydney is among the chorus of boos aimed at Lucrezia and Korka, which she merrily tries to follow up by flinging stale bread in their general direction, though it's more a lob than a stiff rye aimed with deadly intent.

Evaristo checked dexterity + performance at difficulty 40, rolling 35 higher.

Evaristo checked luck at difficulty 11, rolling 21 higher.

Turn in line: Lucrezia

Turn in line: Felicia

New song coming up! Evaristo has secured a cucumber and is twacking it on his own head in rhytm as he slides around in some smoooooth moves, ridiculous but entertaining - and that voice still carries. The new song? An entirely made up song about a red-haired lady who is a lady at day and a vigilante at night, and ends up in all SORTS of hijinx.

Felicia is probably not supposed to swat at incoming projectiles. Most of them she misses, but the one she manages to /hit/, well... it explodes. Messily. Coating her in bits of potato... grunge. Her rendition of the bawdy dock song could probably do without the gestures to accompany it. The redhaired knight taking on the 'role' of the lady sailor as she endeavors to swan across the stage without tripping over Evaristo and Monique.

The line has been dismissed by Hamish.

Felicia checked dexterity + performance at difficulty 40, rolling 17 lower.

Felicia checked dexterity at difficulty 11, rolling 13 higher.

The tossed produce by the Nox'alfar spectators are only a few items here and there, but they appear to be saving the bulk of the ammunition for the moment. A few very, very ripe and very, very red pomegranates end up splattering in the general area of the singing competition. There is no target it seems. They just make a sticky mess that looks entirely too much like blood, like little fruity grenades. Symonesse lifts her voice in response to Hamish, "I might be tiny, but I have a fierce bite, Archlector! You might get me in the harbor, but I'll take most of your arm with me!" She grins brightly and looks to Aindre. "Early spring gives the worms plenty of food to grow flowers," she tells the Grayson prince with a wise nod of her head. She stops speaking to cheer loudly for Korka's song, but then boos when Korka is disqualified. "I wanted to hear more!" She pretends to pout and then murmurs to Aindre with a sly smile on her lips.

Evaristo has joined the line.

Korka stands up and brushes herself off, missing the piece of stale bread that's in her hair as she holds her head high and shouts, "Is this rule three in action, Archlector?"

Lucrezia flicks away to bread tossed by Sydney, squinting a promise for revenge. Later.

Monique checked charm + performance at difficulty 40, rolling 32 higher.

Monique checked dexterity at difficulty 11, rolling 32 higher.

"Depending on which arm you take, your highness, that might not be not worth it." Hamish's eyebrows pull together as he internally diagrams that sentence, then nods, satisfied, and turns back to the performance just in time to see Felicia go out. With a clap for Evaristo and Monique he calls out, "The last two in! Everyone give them a round of applause!" This results in a lot of things beyind thrown at them. During that brief distraction Hamish moves over, gives Korka a light kiss on the cheek, then shoves her into the harbor.

Evaristo checked dexterity + performance at difficulty 50, rolling 24 higher.

Evaristo checked luck at difficulty 14, rolling 10 higher.

It's a pomegranate that is Felicia's undoing. She stops to warble and catches it full in the chest. There's quite possibly even some that makes it into her mouth given the sudden way her song cuts off and the coughing and retching that follows as she staggers off the stage to find a relatively quiet place to empty her stomach.

Monique is all about dodging. Dodging and singing about the crowd's many defaults and trying to steal Evaristo's cucumber. She manages at least two out of the three and so far, doing her best to enrage the crowd, hasn't been nailed by a single rotten thing.

Monique checked dexterity + performance at difficulty 50, rolling 12 lower.

Monique checked dexterity at difficulty 14, rolling 8 higher.

Evaristo splutters as something nasty hits his face, disturbing that EPIC song - but he continues moving about, lifting that cucumber up high. "HEY you leave my cucumber alone, you minx," he mock-threatens and manages to make that sound just... wrong. He dodges a flying leek, gets hit with a pomegreanate that blooms red on his chest, but he continues singing.

Hamish drops A sanguine leather covered lute case tooled with a skull and vine motif.

Azova edges her way closer to the spot where Korka was thrown into the harbor, so that when she is finally either fished out or climbs out by herself, there is a blanket held out for her to dry and warm herself with. You don't come to these events ill-prepared after all!

Sydney crows, "It looks even greener and less healthy than the last time I saw it, Ev!"

Evaristo gets A sanguine leather covered lute case tooled with a skull and vine motif.

Honestly, when Queen Symonesse starts to talk about chewing off Blessed Hamish's arms on her way into the harbor, Aindre takes a bit of a step away from her. Just the smallest one. A little space for safety, in case it actually comes to the devouring of anyone's limbs which usually isn't actually a legitimate question but when it comes to the Downtown Folly who can tell. Of course he looks a touch theatrically dramatic about it in an understated fashion, cutting his eyes in her direction. "Well, we can't forget about the worms and the flowers.", he agrees, so much of his tone all about how of course, who could forget about them on their deathbed planning? Still, he's only stepped away for a few seconds, enough to make it /pointed/ before he's laughing about her booing and then joins in for the same.

It all gets to be too much. Evaristo's comment about his cucumber makes the Minx crack and her song falters, her laughter getting the best of her. Monique runs out of words (and gets pelted a time or two) and sweeps a laughing bow to Evaristo. "Your cucumber is mightier."

Evaristo laughs loudly at Sydney's joke. "You didn't complain!" he shouts back at her, and then Monique concedes - that cucumber is held up high in triumph. "MIGHTY IS THE CUCUMBER!" he agrees loudly, then turns a bow at the crowd that just pelt him with more stuff, though there might be some cheering too.

Splash. That's Korka hitting the water, coming up with a gasp and dog paddling her way over to the nearest ladder to climb back up, dripping wet to the dockside.

The Harlequins who were pulling the ropes that operated the machinery of the wheel stop, panting and sweaty, glad for the break. And then other Harlequins run over and yell at them to take the wheel away, which leads to an entertaining squabble. Hamish watches with interest, but when no one takes a swing at anyone else he looks back to the crowd only marginally put out. "Up next is the great outdoor fight!" He points to the muddy ring. "You enter. You fight. You get thrown out. Keep the fighting clean. If you fight dirty I won't notice and no one will punish you in any way, but won't you feel bad about it when you go home a victor? Probably not. So do whatever you want. Why do I care?" He points at the pen of pigs. "If people seem too evenly matched they're going to start releasing those, because absolutely no one wants to see people of great martial skill putting on a display of perfected pugilism unless it involves pigs. No one is to wear any armor for the fight. In fact, go ahead and take off as much as you want, since there may be oil dumped in there at some point. Just remember that there are children present, so please do cover up any offensive tattoos, like if one of them is a big eagle eating a snake with the words 'born to watch an eagle eat a snake' or maybe something that says 'I disagree with our system of governance'."

Hamish pauses, then adds, "Oh, and the entire time you need to recite free form poetry. Did I forget to mention that?"

Felicia re-emerges with a flask fished from her cincture, evidently relying on whatever is inside to combat the taste of rotten pomegranate from her mouth. Her shirt's a ruin of glittering pomegranate pulpy blood,"Poetry?!" she croaks for Hamish's addition to the rules in something akin to horror. Making her way towards Evaristo she asks the Harlequin,"Are you planning on participating in this one...? If not... would you do the honor of holding onto Her sword for me while I do?" she asks in a hoarse voice.

Upon noticing that Aindre has dramatically taken a step away from her, Symonesse bared her teeth and snaps them at him a couple times before laughing and then coaxing him closer. Poor Korka climbs back from the harbor and the Queen cheers her return, but only briefly before her attention seems to be taken by the explanation of the next game even as she is leaning in toward the Grayson slightly and smiling widely. Then, she says to him, "Oh, this ought to be good." The golden-eyed Queen turns a sweet look onto one of her nearest guards and requests that he find her some of that half-rotten produce. When he returns, she makes a point of setting a few pieces near Aindre and says, "Direct head shots for the bad poetry, but aim for the knees for the good. It's tradition."

Evaristo claims his prize - and there is no doubt he is absolutely delighted, even touched, by this amazing instrument. He takes it out of the case and shows it around, it's truly a stunning instrument. There's a moment he seems ready to start playing on it, but he tucks it away safely for now and listens to Hamish - he glances at the course, but decides to stay out of it. "Oh no, I'll sit this one out. Got to give all of you an honest chance," he jokes, winking at Felicia. "I'd be honored to watch Her blade meanwhile."

Where she may have been reluctant to join the previous competition, Sydney's eyes understandably gleam as the rules for this particular contest are read. She cackles in spite of herself as more and more rules are added, and she ties her hair back in a ponytail only to pause at the stipulation of poetry. She scoots on over towards Evaristo, and frantically hisses, "What does /freeform/ mean?"

Evaristo hisses back to Sydney; "Just make up some weird rhymes in a mostly rhytmic manner, you'll be fiiiine."

Sydney offers an over-enthusiastic thumbs-up.

Monique glances down at her tiny dress, flicking off some rotten fruit still clinging to the ironwool. "Hm. I didn't really dress for wrestling. But then, I didn't really dress for not-wrestling, either. Does anyone have a coin I could flip?"

Sydney has joined the line.

Evaristo flicks a silver coin over towards Monique, giving her another wink.

Wash watches from afar, folly or not, at least he's not the target of anyt thrown offal.

"Congratulations, Evaristo." Azova offers politely, taking a moment to be seated. Because who knows how many injuries are going to result from the next round of the evening's events. "Well earned. Did you at least give your cucumber a name? Since it helped you win." she adds, watching as people line up to join the muddy pit.

"Oh I knew I was going to lose that last one the second you and the Minx stood up." Felicia smirks briefly at Evaristo with a nod for Sydney, very reluctantly taking Wheelspinner from her waist and offering it Evaristo's way,"Please try not to trip over and stab yourself with it or anything like that..." she smirks at him briefly. One last swig from the flask and that's offered over too,"So it doesn't get coated in... whatever." she explains before heading over to join the next one.

Felicia has joined the line.

Hamish waves a hand, "It doesn't even have to rhyme. It just needs to sound flowy. Of course I once wrote a book of poetry so bad someone read it and then died just so they could reincarnate as a donkey and kill me, so I don't know a damn thing about poetry." He pauses, then adds, "That was a joke and nobody should assume that I, or the Faith of the Pantheon, have suggested that people could reincarnate as donkeys."

As Aindre walks past several people stop and give him very deep, very sarcastic bows.

"Pigs?" Lucrezia says it in the way that sounds like she is probably considering killing any pig that interferes. Thus, she shrugs out of her Captain's coat and takes off her boots, leaving her in a thin shirt and pants. She isn't following Sydney, she just happens to be stalking the same way.

Lucrezia has joined the line.

Monique has rolled 1 2-sided dice: 2

Hamish calls out, "Please don't punch the pigs! I borrowed them!"

Evaristo near reverently accepts the sword, bowing his head to Felicia. "Well, if I do - that'd be a damn ironic way of going out, and I'd want that written on my tombstone," he jokes. "Good luck, Felicia!"

Flip goes the coin, spinning in all its silver glory and Monique's deft fingers pluck it out of the air and place it flat on the back of her hand. "It says I should, so I shan't." And she pockets the coin as if it belonged to her the whole time, turning her gaze innocuously to the combatants.

Korka is one of those people giving Aindre a big bow, with several fourishes, so as to flick lots of drops of water his way since she's still soaked, "I might strip down, but not to fight. I've never been known for my right hook or my poetry," she drawls, wringing out one side of her skirt.

Turn in line: Sydney

Sydney checked dexterity + brawl at difficulty 20, rolling 32 higher.

Sydney checked wits + performance at difficulty 20, rolling 5 lower.

Evaristo still has the cucumber - well, pieces of it, it didn't really stand up for the brutal beating it took. Ahem. "I... have NOT named it, Lady Azova! Something... The Mighty Menace? The Great Green G- something?" he begins, watching the next competition with interest. He glances over at the queen and her entourage, and gives the Nox'alfar a playful wink.

Nevermind the threats to his arms, while he still has hands Aindre claps for Korka's second arrival, managing to look a little impressed even with how quickly she makes it out of the water. The explanation of the next game's rules bring a brightness back to his face, he can't keep the budding enthusiasm out of it no matter how wary he'd looked seconds ago. "I can't imagine how poetry and punching mixed up together won't be something to see.", he seems to agree, only looking away to find the rotting produce that's been place nearby. It seems there's Folly instruction to be had even when strangers are suddenly giving him exaggerated, sarcastic bows? He picks up a piece of half-rotten cabbage and hefts it in his hand a little, smiling toward Korka and half-proffering his own little bow in return, "I can probably make a direct head shot. The performers only, right?", he jests as an aside to Symonesse.

Raymesin, meanwhile, prepares another passel of past-perfect provisions. He's patently preening, able to stand on the sidelines, peruse the pastimes, and pelt the participants.

Turn in line: Felicia

Felicia checked strength + brawl at difficulty 20, rolling 16 higher.

Felicia checked wits + performance at difficulty 20, rolling 52 higher. Felicia rolled a critical!

Turn in line: Lucrezia

Lucrezia checked dexterity + brawl at difficulty 20, rolling 21 higher.

Lucrezia checked charm + performance at difficulty 10, rolling 17 higher.

Sydney wriggles out of her linen shirt and is left in smallclothes from the waist up. "Hold this for me, Ray!" She flings the shirt his direction and steps out into the mud. She's in absolutely fine physical form. But the poetry she begins to spit out is... lacking. "I once knew a Bard, and he couldn't get hard. He always disappointed, but no one..." Her brows knit in spite of herself, having rhymed herself into a corner, "...Called him out on it, I guess?"

Not heeding the chorus of boos, she starts kicking mud at any and all comers who come near her.

"FOR THE RECORD, she's not freeforming poetry about me," Evaristo says loudly and clearly to everyone around him. He pushes the lute a bit to the side.

Sydney snips, "Only because you've /been/ called out on it!"

"That sounds about right," Monique observes of Sydney's poetry, prosaically, even as she appreciates that fine physical form fully.

"Great green garden thing?" Azova suggests mildly, glancing at what is left of the poor cucumber. "Not so great anymore though, sadly." She appears to be watching this next contest quite closely though, being nearly still except for the way her eyes dart between the contestants when things begin. The ah, poetry though... that makes her snort a bit holding back a laugh.

Hamish winces at Sydney's verse, then points to the barrel of chocolate pudding. "Find a copper bit at the bottom and get back in there. It helps if you like chocolate pudding. In your hair. And nose. And everywhere else, really." He looks back to those still in, which is Felicia and Lucrezia and all sorts of nameless extras who definitely won't win, but are putting on a good show of punching one another while screaming out lots of limericks about men from Sanctum who are experiencing issues with their posteriors.

Symonesse glances from Aindre to Korka to Aindre with a cabbage in his hands. She gives Korka andapologetic wince and says, "I don't think thrown produce was limited to just the competitors in the rules." She wisely takes a step back with a mushy apple in each hand, leaving poor Korka to her fate. She listens to Sydney's poetry, seems into it until the last line, then shakes her head as she tosses an apple in Sydney's direction.

Raymesin secures Sydney's shirt, and starts another salvo.

Lucrezia chooses the folly of wrestling with Sydney, but then, the two of them have love-to-hate each other type relationship, so it was invariable, especially when mud was involved. Poetry? This is a pain in Lucrezia's soul, so what does she do? She recites a pirate song, but makes it sound like it's poetry. Will the crowd appreciate her snark, though?

"IT WAS THAT ONE TIME!" Evaristo shouts back at Sydney. "ONE. TIME! And I was very drunk." His eyes glitter madly, this is just so hilarious - he doesn't mind being the one made fun of. "Oh I like that," he tells Azova. "It starts out so pompous and ends with silly. Perfect." And with that, he aims the remains of his cucumber at Sydney.

Felicia rolls up her sleeves, her shirt is already a lost cause, and a little mud isn't going to change that. Boots off. For all the dubiousness of what might be in that mud,"Oh to be a pinwheel, gleaming and bright... it spins in the morning and dances at night..." she starts out. A blacksmith's son runs up on her in the pit, a good foot taller and broad as a barn. Unfortunately for him the pomegranate splattered knight squats down enough to catch him like she intends to gracefully hold him aloft in some strange dance... only to toss him straight back over her shoulder with a heave.

Felicia checked strength + brawl at difficulty 30, rolling 15 higher.

Felicia checked wits + performance at difficulty 30, rolling 2 higher.

Raymesin is overheard praising Hamish: Entertainment, writ large!

Sydney turns to argue with Hamish, and catches a royal apple squarely in the face. Splut. "Who throws an /apple/!?" She demands, after she's done reeling. She grumbles, and looks at the barrel food of pudding. "...Can't say as I haven't done worse for a copper bit."

Lucrezia checked dexterity + brawl at difficulty 30, rolling 4 lower.

Lucrezia checked charm + performance at difficulty 30, rolling 10 lower.

3 Tyde Houseguard, 2 Redwood Initiates leave, following Lethe.

Sydney checked dexterity + brawl at difficulty 40, rolling 31 higher.

Sydney checked charm + performance at difficulty 40, rolling 24 lower.

"Yeah, I didn't hear that in the rules anywhere either, but there were so many..", Aindre agrees with another quiet laugh, turning a little to watch the Queen step back with her questionable produce in each hand. "You're going to hurt someone with those." He watches as she sends one arcing through the air to splat against Sydney. "I mean, probably not her! I don't think much is going to hurt that one.", the Grayson prince points out, having not at all forgotten about Korka and her commentary and his need to lob a wilting cabbage in her direction. Which he does!

"Oh to be a spider and sit down beside Her..." Felicia warbles as she throws a haymaker at the next person unfortunate enough to wander into her range,"Such a tale I would tell!" a hand offered to haul the poor gal out of the muck as she moves on, streaked in mud and pomegranate.

Felicia checked dexterity + brawl at difficulty 40, rolling 3 lower.

Felicia checked charm + performance at difficulty 40, rolling 13 lower.

"Nice poetry, Felicia! No produce for you!" Evaristo says and instead throws an over-ripe few plums at another competitor.

Monique eyes the barrels of chocolate pudding thoughtfully. "That looks delicious. Do you want some?" she asks sidelong to Evaristo and anyone else near by, without taking her eyes off the competition.

Sydney thrusts her arm down into the barrel of pudding, but it's quite simply not enough. An expansive roll of her eyes, and she dives headlong into the barrel, thrashing about until she manages to fish out the copper bit, which she tosses towards Hamish. Ew.

Of course, it doesn't help that she's covered in viscous pudding as she lumbers about the ring, grossing out everyone that she encounters. It helps with the fighting. It helps decidedly less with her prose. "You don't need to be a knight to put up a fight, but we don't have time to rhyme, and if you don't like pudding, EAT MY FIST!"

Well, it almost works. It's high-concept. You wouldn't understand.

Korka flinches as the cabbage hits her in the shoulder, showering her in leaves and mush. She grimaces, trying to brush off as much as she can. She's still got that bread in her hair that's now a goopy mess though.

Azova allows her gaze to slide towards the barrels of chocolate pudding. "I mean, who doesn't like chocolate pudding." Pudding isn't going to hurt anyone, right? Unless they don't like it apparently, and then Sydney will clock them.

Symonesse makes a face at Aindre and then holds out the remaining apple to him. "It's -soft-. No one will get hurt! See? Very mushy." She shows off her empty hand and the yucky rotten apple residue that remains on her palm. She steps closer, all innocence and sweetness as she makes as if she is about to wipe it off on his sleeve.

Hamish catches the copper bit out of the air, pops it in his mouth and swallows. Cha ching. "Sydney Waterfall with the water-win!" He waves to a Harlequin who walks forward and hands Sydney a small wooden box, beautiful and shiny and covered with little roses and lots of lace. Inside is a pair of very beautiful brass knuckles.

Hamish drops handsome pair of knuckledusters.

Sydney takes handsome pair of knuckledusters.

Monique doesn't die laughing at Sydney's prose, but it's a very near thing, and that's what folly's are for. She starts to edge towards the chocolate pudding barrels oh-so-casually, keeping an eye out for not-so-rotten fruit side dishes.

Evaristo chortles with laughter - at all of it, but Sydney's poetry in particular. When she stands as winner, he cheers loudly for her (and throws some fruit at her for good measure.)

Felicia gets blindsided by one of the other people in the mud-pit when she opens her mouth to continue her next line and emerges looking more like an abominable mud-beast. Caked from head to bare feet in mud bar for a few clean swatches of skin. That it mostly didn't get in her eyes is probably the only mercy about it, mud flung from her hands with a good shake.

Sydney is wearing more chocolate pudding than clothing, and more mud than chocolate pudding by the end of the bout. Where one begins and the other ends is truly anybody's guess. She accepts the lacy box, ruining all the flourishes nearly immediately as she thrusts a muddy/chocolatey fist toward the sky. "Ev! I won a poetry contest!"

Lucrezia gets shoved out of the ring. She stares at the remainder of the fight, dark eyes glittering with savage annoyance.

"You did, Syd, you did! I expect to see you in the Bard's college first thing tomorrow! Practice beforehand," he calls to her, eyes glittering with warmth - he is glad for her win, but he has to tease - it's just part of it.

The Harlequins just finish the 'course' for the foot race just as things wrap up with the pig-battle. Hamish looks over at the rickety disaster with a lot of misplaced pride. It's piles of boxes and pallets stacked on top of one another in a hilly up and down and up and down run around the dockyards. It looks ready to fall over at any second, and what's worse is that there are planks of wood shoved into at various places for anyone who might care to give one a kick and send part of the course flying. As Hamish introduces the race Harlequins wander around handing out soft tomatoes, somewhat less soft onions, baked apples and balls made of tightly wrapped animal ears. Who knows what animal? "For our final contest before the actually final contest we have the grand Harlequin sprint! Start at the beginning, run to the end, be the first one there and mostly uninjured and you can go home with some very nice oakhide boots. And join Pugilist Sydney and Bard Evaristo in the grand finale!"

It's safe to say there is a little suspicion in Aindre's gaze whenever Queen Symonesse is holding out that remaining, half-rotted apple. It's definitely gross looking, just like the residue left in her other hand, "I'm not /actually/ worried about anyone getting hurt with it, I'm only worried now that you're smiling like that.", the promise he makes as sincere a thing as can ever escape from off his lips. He takes a step back, realizing he's been disarmed of his cabbage, feigning defensiveness, "Hey now, you look as if you need something to clean that hand with..". Surely there's something around, he searches for it, weighing his options.

Sydney checked dexterity at difficulty 15, rolling 13 higher.

Sydney reclaims her shirt back from Raymesin, but rather than using it as clothing, that scratchy linen makes for a fine rag. The utility of clothing in the Lowers is not be underestimated. She mostly manages to clean herself up, but the hair is an absolutely lost cause. Either way, she's sitting out the sprint!

Evaristo raises a hand. "Can I join in this just for fun?!" he asks.

Korka places one of those wilted cabbage leaves on her head like some kind of jaunty hat and moves over to get in line for the foot race, tying her skirt up on the side with her sash so the wet fabric won't hinder her ability to compete. Though her feet might.

Monique eyes the very precarious course and happily steps up to compete, though she does bribe a nearby commoner for a pair of boots to borrow, paying an outrageous amount for them.

Felicia wades back towards Evaristo, leaving a trail of dubious brown gunk behind her. There's an ear out for the next competition, even if it looks like she might be 'done'. A wry sort of smile offered as she carefully collects back sword and flask, the latter so she can take a more than generous swig from it,"I'm not giving up yet!" the hoarse croak of a vow as she schlepps towards the start line. At this point any additional produce tossed her way is simply ignored. It can hardly make her worse.

The line has been dismissed by Hamish.

Felicia has joined the line.

Monique has joined the line.

Hamish nods to Evaristo. "Of course you can. Hells, you can join in to participate in the final contest twice, but you'll have to find yourself first, which not many people can do."

Korka has joined the line.

Lucrezia has joined the line.

Evaristo cheers and jumps forward to participate even if he doesn't HAVE to - giving Felicia a thankful smile, as she reclaimed her items.

Evaristo has joined the line.

Wash disappears below decks.

Jayne, Burly Sailor leaves, following Wash.

Felicia checked dexterity + athletics at difficulty 25, rolling 23 higher.

Symonesse smiles so sweetly the more wary that Aindre looks and, with the kindest smile on her face, reaches over and gently smushes half-rotten apple into his shoulder. So kind. She makes sure to wipe her hand off on him, her smile now sly and satisfied, "It's amazing how effective silk is at soaking up apple mush. Really. Amazing silk."

Hamish nods as the competitors get in line and looks to those who have not yet stood up. "Prince Aindre! Show the people that House Grayson is one of them! You can solve every societal problem by breaking your ribs for the entertainment of hundreds!" And to Symonesse, "Your highness ... actually, no, some things aren't fair." He looks back to those ready to race and gives a nod. "Everyone! Your competitors! Cheer for them, these gladiators! These specimens! Our heroes of the folly!" This gets LOTS of soft fruit thrown at everyone lined up. Hamish gives a satisfied nod, then booms, "GO!"

Turn in line: Felicia

Turn in line: Monique

Monique checked dexterity + athletics at difficulty 25, rolling 28 higher.

Korka checked luck + stewardship at difficulty 25, rolling 5 lower.

Turn in line: Korka

Turn in line: Lucrezia

Lucrezia checked dexterity + athletics at difficulty 25, rolling 6 higher.

Turn in line: Evaristo

Evaristo checked luck + woodworking at difficulty 25, rolling 4 lower.

Sydney is far, far too busy extricating mud and pudding from her person to choose to mess with any of the competitors, but she does watch closely while running her fingers through decidedly tacky hair, shuddering every now and again at the texture.

Korka may not have the best start, what with slipping and falling nearly on her face, but it does mean that she's on the ground and in a position to kick a crate that had been in Monique's path out of the way just as the Minx moves to step out on it.

Lucrezia runs on wood and shifting surfaces all the time. Grinning like a wild thing, caked in mud and still barefoot, she joins the others at the start of the course. She sets off laughing like mad.

The shambling monster from the Bay! Felicia might be more mud than... anything else right now. And surely the brown murk that drips off of her is liable to make the already treacherous course worse in general... but the redheaded Harrow elects to take the line and lurches along with everyone else, over the boxes, down to the cobbles, whooping as she goes.

As the footrace begins, the Nox'alfar begin throwing produce like this a war and it will be won with half-rotten blood oranges and pomegranates. Also, one of them releases a box of squirrels. Because... reasons. They look far more delighted now as chaos reigns and mild injury looks likely.

Monique lines up at the line in her expensive borrowed boots, wiggling a little to make them fit properly. There's a distinct gleam in her green eyes as she focuses on the first stack of crates and the plank underneath them. Her eyes slide sidelong to Lucrezia. A little apologetically. Whoosh! Off the Minx of the Marches goes, climbing and clambering and not even trying to dodge fruit this time. She might be a salad by the time the course is through with her, but it won't stop her from kicking loose a plank that tumbles the crates poor Lucrezia is heading for. Of course, it doesn't help when she doesn't see the crate that Korka kicks loose. There's a string of Nox curses that leaves her lips.

Hamish GM Roll checked luck(5) at difficulty 10, rolling 21 higher.

Hamish GM Roll checked luck(5) at difficulty 10, rolling 25 higher.

Hamish GM Roll checked luck(5) at difficulty 10, rolling 15 higher.

Hamish GM Roll checked luck(5) at difficulty 10, rolling 11 higher.

Hamish GM Roll checked luck(5) at difficulty 10, rolling 12 higher.

Having no need to win, Evaristo choses to do something when he has no pressure - might as well try the route that he is BAD at, right? So, he picks up a plank from the first crates, tries to balance it across to the next heap of crates and what not, by wedging it against another plank - he literally has NO idea how to build anything, so when he starts jogging across, the plank sliiiiiiides backwards and he ends up having to throw himself forward to grab for the crates, that tip over, sending him down with a thud. About five different rotten fruits hit him, too. But, he's laughing near hysterically at it all, getting up to continue.

The squirrels might or might not bite. You're welcome.

Azova only looks mildly horrified right now. Mildly, really.

Oh, wow. That's certainly rotten, mushed apple on the silk of his clothing and Aindre Grayson could not look more impressed about being used like handcloth at the dinner table, right down to the loft of one brow just a touch. He opens his mouth to say something but then Blessed Hamish is calling his attention and he leaves Symonesse with a look as if to say there's more to be done about this rotten apple debacle. "I do try and save my broken ribs for the field of battle, Blessed Hamish! That way the people with an eye for societal woes can better handle them without me underfoot." Wherever that conversation is going it can't compete with the footrace. Or the squirrels. His attention chases after both, laughter on his lips.

Evaristo has joined the line.

Monique has joined the line.

Felicia has joined the line.

Lucrezia has joined the line.

Korka has joined the line.

As they get around the first curve in the course, a track that is rapidly falling apart and shedding NPC racers like a dog with mange, everyone has their troubles. Felicia and Monique take an early lead, but while Felicia's knightly dedication to fair play sees to it that no one targets her, Monique's lead is wrecked when Korka sabotages her, Lucrezia's goes up in smoke when Monique sends debris her way and Evaristo? Well, Evaristo takes care of himself by getting caught up in wood grains. And then it all goes to hell when the nox'alfar join in. Fair play is apparently a good way to get nearly twice as many rotten blood oranges tossed at you than anyone else. Still, she's not called the wrecking ball for no reason and she just shrugs it off. The nox, they know Monique, they might even like Monique, which might be why she gets it second worse. It is perhaps pity that sees Evaristo getting the least of it. Or maybe a belief that he's messing around as some way to lull people into a sense of security. Going into the second leg Felicia is in the lead, followed by Monique, Korka and Lucrezia are neck and neck and Evaristo has great hair and a WONDERFUL personality. And a good cucumber, I guess.

Monique checked dexterity + athletics at difficulty 25, rolling 20 higher.

Evaristo checked strength + woodworking at difficulty 25, rolling 11 lower.

Felicia checked dexterity + athletics at difficulty 25, rolling 12 higher.

Lucrezia checked dexterity + athletics at difficulty 25, rolling 6 higher.

Korka checked luck + stewardship at difficulty 25, rolling 10 lower.

Evaristo is clearly doing his OWN race here - like he's out to learn something or try something new and challenging. Might even be a bit offensive but least he isn't making trouble for anyone else - he is busy making it for himself. NOw more or less crawling around in rotten fruit, he manages to stand up a bit woozily, letting out a little giggle when seeing a squirrel just there looking at him. "Those are REAL, right?" he asks of nobody in particular. He heaves up a crate. Well he TRIES to heave up a crate on top of another, since he has to get back UP there somehow. He struggles with it, pressing it against the others and nudging it slooooowly upwards. "What IS IN THIS CRATE, who put STEEL in it?!" he shouts, sweating. He grunts and pushes and it tips over... in fact, it tips over and rolls over the other side. "Ahahaha, alright, this is why I don't move crates." He starts climbing up instead.

Hamish GM Roll checked luck(3) at difficulty 10, rolling 10 higher.

Hamish GM Roll checked luck(3) at difficulty 10, rolling 20 higher.

Hamish GM Roll checked luck(3) at difficulty 10, rolling 13 higher.

Hamish GM Roll checked luck(3) at difficulty 10, rolling 2 higher.

Hamish GM Roll checked luck(3) at difficulty 10, rolling 0 higher.

Is Monique paying someone to target whoever is in the lead so long as it's not her? That's a pretty big possibility. She did buy overpriced boots, after all. It's probably why the Nox like her so much. Cheating. There's a signal from the Minx as she's attempting, with some success, to navigate the peril and the tumbling boxes, and a group of well-paid rabblerousers start targeting Felicia.

Lucrezia is running well and jumping over sections that look too dangerous to trust when she sees the incoming debris. She checks her stride and dives into a roll to evade, but comes up right into a hail of rotten fruit. Armor of mud only protects so much, so she growls in annoyance and presses on, but slower as she keeps having to dodge the incoming hail.

Felicia gets pelted by blood oranges, amidst sounds of protest... or gurgles at least, as she tries to keep her concentration on the potentially lethal track below her. There's a grumble at the sheer volume of blood oranges thrown her way, and something of defiance in the way she snatches up a couple of them while clambering over an obstacle to stick on top of her head like the mud-monsters ears. Dodging isn't about to make her any less filthy right now... and she can't even stop to gawp as a squirrel elects to run across her head. Ack!

No one ever said that strength and speed were the Inquisitor's strong points and if they ever did they're likely looking away and grimacing as she tries to climb and falls, tries to run and ends up with a squirrel crawling up her back to try to get at that cabbage leaf she's using for a hat, which ends up with her flailing around a bit to try to catch it as she hops sideways. When she finally does she turns and flings it at Lucrezia, it's little squirrel face aghast as it extends it's arms and legs to find purchase on the other woman.

Sydney finally has her act together enough to at least properly cackle as Korka is set upon by a squirrel. "Oh gods. This is quite possibly the greatest day I've had in a long time." She bounces on the tips of her toes.

Symonesse seems entirely too pleased that Aindre seems to just accept his use as a royal handcloth. With her hand once again mostly clean, she focused on the race as it is happening, not appearing to be interested in sabotaging anyone. The squirrels do make her turn her head to look at the Nox'alfar group and give them a cheerful thumbs up before redirecting her attention to the race, laughing rather amusedly as Evaristo somehow manages to just not catch a break, but does catch a whole lot of rotten citrus for his efforts. The entire dockyard is starting to stink...

Rounding into the backstretch more and more people with rich internal lives and families that love them go flying, most with little more than bumps, bruises and scrapes to show for it, thanks in no part to the mercies as lead by Azova. Felicia's early lead falters for a moment as she takes a hit from Monique, who herself is doing well until Lucrezia manages to knock a crate out from under her. And of course the nox'alfar have their way, mercilessly pelting everyone except for Evaristo. Evaristo just gets looks. Maybe not the good kind of looks? Maybe the best kind of looks! But the sabotage of the day comes from Korka, who turns just in time to toss a squirrel at Lucrezia which immediately gets lodged in her hair. Coming around into the end of the race Felicia still leads the day, though Monique is hot on her heels. Korka is a bit back, followed by a seemingly perplexed Evaristo and the finally Lucrezia, wrestling a squirrel.

Evaristo checked dexterity + athletics at difficulty 25, rolling 37 higher.

Felicia checked dexterity + athletics at difficulty 25, rolling 19 higher.

Korka checked luck + stewardship at difficulty 25, rolling 12 higher.

Monique checked dexterity + athletics at difficulty 25, rolling 36 higher.

Lucrezia checked dexterity + athletics at difficulty 25, rolling 7 lower.

Evaristo has decided that he at least wants to be IN the race - so he lithely climbs up and starts running and leaping across the crates, WAY behind the others, but gaining a tiny bit perhaps. He waves to the Nox'alfars, cheerfully.

One of them throws a whole melon at his head in greeting.

Hamish GM Roll checked luck(3) at difficulty 5, rolling 9 higher.

Hamish GM Roll checked luck(3) at difficulty 5, rolling 22 higher.

Hamish GM Roll checked luck(3) at difficulty 5, rolling 11 higher.

Hamish GM Roll checked luck(3) at difficulty 5, rolling 3 higher.

Korka is limping at this point but utterly determined to finish this damned race! Or maybe she just wants to stay head of Lucrezia and that terrifying squirrel--so she rallies and scales a stack of crates to get up above some of the runners, using the height to get a good look at where everyone is and so as she runs to hurls herself into a high stack of pallets so that they fall just in front of Monique. This of course does mean she's clutching her shoulder as she heads for the finish line, limping but doing so in a quick hopping motion.

Hamish GM Roll checked luck(3) at difficulty 5, rolling 19 higher.

The entire dockyard /is/ starting to stink and Aindre Grayson only helps it all along a bit more when he plucks half of another wilting cabbage from the hands of someone winding back to lob it at some poor running contestant. Probably Korka, Death take her, the poor limping creature. "I'm just going to keep hold of this. I'm not going to do anything awful with it.", he promises Queen Symonesse with entirely too much confidence that the weight of the threat will do more than anything he could actually muster with cabbage. That smile of his is complete trouble.

Pelted with squirrels. Who doesn't love to be pelted with squirrels? Monique, that's who. She bares her teeth back at them, though she's too out of breath to make the EEEEEEEEing noise back. Instead, her focus is on all the crates and barrels and splinters that are in her future as she clambers the obstacle course, trying to catch the agility and grace that is Felicia.

Felicia's putting her all into it... whether that will be enough, time will tell. She scrabbles over boxes and runs along planks with all the shambling grace she can manage right now while under assault by fruit and furry friend. At least it wont be for lack of effort that she might not win it, as mud-splatters on boxes on the way live to tell.

All is well until the squirrel comes flying at her. Evidently squirrels aren't common in ship warfare since it latches onto her face and she flails about trying to get it off and only getting scratched by its claws instead. Seems she's running backwards a bit there and topples over the edge at one point. *That* got rid of the squirrel. Somehow.

Azova has just been quietly helping the contestants who have dropped out, now that they are on the last event of the evening. "I know, splinters are the worst." she murmurs towards one poor sap after yanking a particularly nasty one out and patching him up. "Okay, maybe squirrel bits are the worst." she corrects herself, watching one person drag a squirrel along with them, still attached to their pant leg.

Sydney loudly cheers, "Woo! Squirrels! Go squirrels! Boo! Boo to non-squirrels!"

The whole thing is coming down now, boxes and pallets falling everywhere, people in the crowd howling with excitement as they find themselves in danger of really bad splinters and probably way worse than that. The namless racers fall behind and then out, though it's becoming increasingly evident that no one is going to finish this race. It's just going to be whoever skids to a halt closest to the finish line. Monique does her level best to put Felicia out of the game, and it sends Felicia tumbling. She smashes through crate after crate, but just keeps rolling. The Minx dances lightly across the tops of the crates until out of nowhere a stack of crates slammed into by Korka topple over onto her. Lucrezia's still in it, but even she gets to watch as Evaristo decides to wake up and starts tearing ass for the finish. Still, it's too little too late for him. In the end everyone is caught up in it as the whole course crashes noisily to the ground, raising a dust cloud they can see from the top of the plateau. In the end as people pull themselves, scraped and bruised, from the rubble, it's Felicia who finds herself closest to the finish line. The crowd goes absolutely bananas, raising a cheer that may very well have people in Cardia wondering what all the ruckus is.

As the entire course starts to fall apart and crash to the ground, Symonesse huddles a little closer to Aindre and turns her face away to avoid getting splinters there. She coughs at the cloud of dust that manages to crowd out the rotten produce smell for a moment but cheers as loud as she can for those who finished and those who did not nonetheless between those coughs. Hopefully, that cabbage gets knocked out of Aindre's hand before he gets himself in real trouble.

Evaristo tumbles down in a heap of splintered wood, thudding to the ground. He coughs, and rolls over - spitting out some rotten fruit, and trying to get some out of his ear. "WHAT?!" he shouts, as if he thinks somenoe was trying to tell him something. "IS IT OVER?!" he adds, and climbs to his feet, finally hearing. "HOORAY!" he cheeers, both arms rising up in the air. His face gets hit by a tomato, and there's a squirrel hanging on to his cloak.

There are things fallen on top of Monique and she has to clamber her way through them to make it out, green eyes casting around to see who won. She catches sight of Felicia ahead of her and chuckles. "I should have paid more! Drat! Next time, Your-Almost-Majesty! Next time!" There's a splinter-riddled fist shaken as the Minx begins to limp her way out of the wooden mess. "I think I have a splinter in my backside..."

With the race done Hamish stands at the middle of everything, hands together, nodding like this is all going according to his wicked plan. Finally he says, "Sprinter Felicia! Pugilist Sydney! Bard Evaristo! Please come here for the final contest to win a token to participate in a contest with these fine people," and for the first time Hamish looks over to the nox'alfar contingent, looking them in the eye and offering a bow, before looking back to the winners. "But I wouldn't suggest it unless you have your affairs in order and are very interested in seeing what comes after you die."

Korka crawls out of the debris, kicking a board off of her and climbing to her feet where, against all odds, the cabbage leaf while wilted and smelly is still in place on her head, clutching her shoulder, "...I'm suddenly very glad I didn't win," she mutters as the winners are called up for another competition as she limps her way to the sidelines.

"Well then, Lady Monique. Not that I expected to have to say this. But, if you have a splinter in your ass.." Azova's voice trails off, and she gestures off to the side. Perhaps behind some well placed crates. "Bend over, and I'll take care of that for you."

Lucrezia sits up, looking surprised to be there, possibly. Picking out splinters, she rolls out of the mess and out to sit on a crate to sulk and watch.

Momentum is the enemy... and Felicia has plenty of it when she's sabotaged. There's this teetering moment, arms pinwheeling, where she thinks for a hot second she might actually manage to stay upright... and then plunges head first into the crate that rudely gets in her way. Ass over teakettle, she 'scorpions' with the first crate and crashes directly into the second row. It's only that momentum that keeps her going from knee's into the third set with a splintering crunch that leaves her dazedly trying to work out what just happened and whether or not she's got all limbs still attached when she thumbs up shakily to indicate that... yes... still alive. Mostly. Probably. And it's not until she actually manages to leverage herself up that she discovers that well, at least she collapsed closest to the finish line,"You deserve it, Minx!" shouted Monique's way. Getting all her limbs back in their proper configuration is secondary to making sure that Wheelspinner is at least unscathed before she limps towards Hamish with all the foolish dignity she can muster right now.

"Sweeter words were never spoken," Monique tells Azova as she offers up the lower curve of her left cheek for inspection, safely behind a fallen crate and out of most people's view. "If only I'd worn /more/ ironwool. Be gentle?"

Everything is going to pieces! Including much of the staging around the race. Aindre Grayson startles just a touch as you will when the world is coming apart but he does raise an arm and part of the cloak he's grabbed up in his hand as if to shield Queen Symonesse and probably himself a little incidentally from whatever splinters and dust are dispensed like unkind gifts. He looks like he's trying not to laugh but he can't quite hold back the snort he makes, "I can't believe they're going on for a last round after that. What's left to break?". He speaks in jest, of course, but his interest and his attention both are on the last of them standing.

"I just knew someone would wind up with a splinter in their behind. I had guessed right cheek instead of left though." Azova quips, keeping her good humor regardless of the absurdity of the situation.

Evaristo wipes some muck off of himself, but at this point his fancy gear is covered in foods, dirt and dust - and there's a fair few splinters to be pulled out too. He stumbles off towards Hamish, grinning wide and happy. "I'm here! Ready!" he calls, leaning up against something.

Azova takes care of that splinter right quickly, yes she does. And yes, yes she is gentle thank you. Bedside manner impeccable, considering.

Sydney pops up, merely /glazed/ in mud and pudding rather than covered in it. She meanders over toward Hamish and in the spirit of companionship, throws an arm around Evaristo's shoulder, hugging him close. She is sticky. So sticky. Oh gods. "Always ready."

When the winners are settled Hamish looks them over gravely and asks, "What is the name of the goddess who is often referred to as the Queen of Endings and Mother of Beginnings?"

Aindre's cloak ensures that only part of Symonesse's dress and lily-white hair are dusted and now look rather more drab colored than before. She blinks a little and stares at the three as they move into the next phase of the competition. "They'll only really break if they win. Last Folly that the Nox'alfar allowed humans to join ended up with a dead prince." There might just be a touch of a quiver to the Queen's voice, concern lingering in her golden gaze as she glances to the Nox'alfar nearby and then away.

"Death." Felicia coughs as she comes to a halt, resting a hand on her side as she tries to catch her breath.

Sydney scrunches her nose slightly as though wondering if it's a trick question. "Death?" Ah. A moment too late.

"Mmm, you smell of chocolate pudding and rotten tomato, mingled with Lowers muck and squirrel," Evaristo tells Sydney, but he hugs her back and just laughs. Then he releases her and listens to the question, an eyebrow quirking. "Death," he replies, looking a bit puzzled.

Hamish points at Felicia and holds up his finger to indicate a one. "Point to our runner. Next question. What is a word that describes the action or fact of dying or being killed, also the end of the life of a person or animal?"

Sydney says, "Death!"

Evaristo says in Draconic, "Death?"

Evaristo says. "Death?"

Felicia forces herself to straighten, but from the slightly crooked way of it, she's still feeling that cartwheel. And the mud wrestling. And the hoarseness of her voice right now says she probably shouldn't give,"Death." she answers belatedly with some puzzlement.

Hamish points to Sydney. "And one for the pugilist. Last question. The nox'alfar consider themselves the favored of this goddess who was forgotten by humans for a long time and loves skeletons and spiders and also I'm her archlector and her name is Death which is the answer to this question."

"Death?" Felicia guesses with a tilt of her head.

Evaristo says: "DEATH!"

Sydney blinks, and tilts her head, and upon hearing Felicia and Evaristo chime in, she shakes her head, and sticks her hands on her hips, venturing. "Pudding."

"Let's hear it for the Archlector of Pudding!" Korka calls out

Hamish throws up his hands, "Dame Felicia is our winner! Dame Felicia, you get a token which you should never, under any circumstances, use! Instead you should put it in a drawer, safe in the knowledge that if you ever want to be eaten by a giant spider that it is entirely within your ability to make that happen, but you shouldn't because we'd all miss you very much."

Felicia can't help the laugh for Sydney's contribution,"Pudding, goddess of desserts... it is pretty tasty." she opines, leaning back enough for her back to give a crack and groaning a little,"I'd dare say, Blessed, that few people missed me today..." and spreads her arms like 'see?'.

Evaristo laughs and laughs, leaning up against Sydney - she is a proper pillar, she is. "Congratulations, Felicia! Hey, if you DO go - and please don't - invite us along?" he suggests, winking.

The Nox'alfar in attendance give Felicia a real hard look, as if memorizing her face. Just in case.

Lucien, a bright-eyed pine marten arrives, delivering a message to Evaristo before departing.

With the splinter very professionally removed from her rear end, Monique seems in better spirits, enough to cheer Felicia's win, and throw a few final rotten veggies at the three contestants.

"It's probably safer that they're just having this.. thing.. then.", Prince Aindre says to Queen Symonesse with some doubt there in his tone as to whether or not that actually is true, especially with how much has come crashing down. At least the last part was just trivia! He's lowering his cloak then where he'd lifted it up to shield against incoming this or what, cutting his eyes over to the Queen to ask of her, "I have to say, it was certainly everything I expected and a little more. Were the squirrels a customary thing? Is anything truly customary in a Folly save the slinging of rotted fruits and vegetables?" He brings his hands together to applaud for Dame Felicia and her victory, calling out, "Congratulations!".

Sydney applauds fervently, chuckling in spite of herself as the prize is dispensed, and she accepts her lot in life as a sturdy, sticky, scantly-clothed pudding enthusiast to be leaned upon.

Felicia drawls at Evaristo,"I promise you that if I ever decide to go to the Night Court and use it... you'll be the first person I kidnap.... erm... invite. Yes. Invite." she doesn't even attempt to dodge Monique's fruit, though she does squint at her with a gesture at her eyes and then the Minx like 'and you'll be second'.

Felicia is overheard praising Hamish.

Felicia is overheard praising Harlequins.

Azova is overheard praising Hamish.

"Are there rules against trying to seduce King Calithex?" Monique responds to Felicia with a laugh. "If not, I'll go willingly! It would annoy Tyrval to no end and thus, might be worth my bloody demise."

Azova is overheard praising Harlequins.

Korka is overheard praising Hamish: That was definitely a thing that happened

Hamish offers a bow to Felicia, champion of the (downton) folly, then to all of the messy, bruised and otherwise battered contestants. "Thank you to all of those who attended and all of those who competed!" He offers a nod first to Symonesse and then to the nox in attendance. "And to our guests." He adds something else, then drops down from the dais just as it is being smashed apart by Harlequins working cleanup.

Hamish says in Nox'alfar, "Thank you for not stabbing anyone. Yet."

Aindre is overheard praising Harlequins: The finest Folly I've ever been to! The only Folly I've ever been to!

2 Redoubt Buccaneers, Orion, a healer's surly Assistant leave, following Azova.

Korka looks right at Aindre, staring into his eyes and says, "Nobody actually respects princes."

Symonesse is overheard praising Hamish: Thank you for reminding me of home just for an evening.

Evaristo applauds and cheers around, despite pelted by more rotten fruit and vegetables - by now the smell is like common plac. "Thanks, Felicia. Now, WHO WANTS A DRINK?!" he shouts and goes to find some bottles he's stashed away.

Symonesse is overheard praising Harlequins.

Symonesse leans in to murmur something to Aindre, her eyes meeting his for a moment, before she brings her hands together a few times, but doesn't exactly look excited for Felicia. The Queen actually looks worried! She takes in a breath, brow furrowed, but manages a cheerful smile regardless as she says with a touch of false bravado, "The squirrels were brought in special for the event. The Nox'alfar thought this entire thing was charming, so they wanted to add a touch of specialness to it."

Hamish is overheard praising Harlequins: Harlequins happily hosting and having a hecka helping of huevos rancheros!

Hamish is overheard praising Felicia: Fantastically fighting and finishing first!

"Me. Gods... me. All the whiskey forever." Felicia mutters for Evaristo, scooping what mud and other detrius she can from herself. Spying her majesty there's a reassuring ghost of a smile and she offers an actual, respectful bow her way.

Hamish is overheard praising Korka: Deviously demolishing d...other people, I'm done with that, it's too hard.

Hamish is overheard praising Sydney.

Hamish is overheard praising Evaristo.

Hamish is overheard praising Lucrezia.

Felicia is overheard praising Sydney.

Felicia is overheard praising Evaristo.