Written By Merek
June 4, 2017, 8:59 a.m.(8/3/1006 AR)
Relationship Note on Sparte
Try to throw people around a bit less. I know it looks wonderful, but it could in fact hurt them, even if they are criminals. We should always move directly for the most non-lethal route.
Written By Abbas
June 4, 2017, 7:27 a.m.(8/3/1006 AR)
I stopped my and prayed to Mangata this morning. Life is a fickle thing that goes with the pass of a blade and then showers the earth in moments by the bucket.
Yet the dead do not simply die and vanish. The souls of the departed take a piece of you with them and haunt you until the end of days.
I think of those who have yet to die in this conflict. There will be many. And when we thought we have given enough the blood tithe will come due again and again. It is our duty to keep the Compact together and not at odds. To that extent I must do my part. And others must do theirs to bridge the chasm between each other.
In this war our only chance is together. To reach this end we must compromise. We must compromise ourselves, our values, and we must see the world as one people of Arvum. And then as the war widens across endless horizons we must see each other as simply people.
I will do my part. Will you?
Yet the dead do not simply die and vanish. The souls of the departed take a piece of you with them and haunt you until the end of days.
I think of those who have yet to die in this conflict. There will be many. And when we thought we have given enough the blood tithe will come due again and again. It is our duty to keep the Compact together and not at odds. To that extent I must do my part. And others must do theirs to bridge the chasm between each other.
In this war our only chance is together. To reach this end we must compromise. We must compromise ourselves, our values, and we must see the world as one people of Arvum. And then as the war widens across endless horizons we must see each other as simply people.
I will do my part. Will you?
Written By Aiden
June 4, 2017, 5:29 a.m.(8/3/1006 AR)
I promised not to write in the white journals anymore, however that was a promise against Vellichor and against my heart. Somethings must be written to be released from the soul.
I am awake, unable to sleep. This is not unusual. It happens more often since the siege, especially when I'm alone. The memories of what I experienced come back and haunt my dreams. What if the Bringer in the Hall of Heroes had squeezed his hand around my neck a little tighter and all those people weren't there, my cousin Barric, Silas, Merek and many more whose faces blur when I try to recall that horrible moment? What if Orazio couldn't stop what was transpiring in the Queensrest and what if that man who knifed me in the back had hit somewhere vital? What if the thug had dragged his knife deep into my throat and all those Iron Guards and Mercenaries weren't there to stop him? What if that chair or that ... gods forbid, woman... hit me the right way when a Bringer flung them at me? What if Ainsley wasn't there to catch me when I fell off that balcony? What if... Estaban failed to jump into action? What if... the people I loved, didn't come home?
Should I be ashamed of these thoughts that wake me at night? I don't think so. For each of them remind me how precious life is. How precious the conviction of our family, friends, and our lovers are. It reminds me of how I am not alone, even if in the present physical I am. No. I am not ashamed. For these memories remind me of each and every person who has touched my life. With bad, there is always a balance of good and the good is that, my life is so much fuller for it.
Speaking of bad and the returning of good, my mind turns back to hearing Limerance's words spoken through his chosen, his Archlector. It is my hopes that when I write them, I will further remember them and live by these words. Here's what I recall most:
---
Like all things worth doing, though, it will take effort. As they say, nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight- and the love of family is something worth fighting for.
Strength of heart, of faith, of love can lead to as much greatness as strength of arms. Do not be ashamed of who and what you are, and who you love. If they think you a failure, the fault lies with them, not with you- for who would wish upon their own family the joyless life of following a path that is not your own? Do not think yourself a failure. You are who you are- and no one else can be who you are. Embrace your path with an open heart, let your love light the way, and you will *soar*.
Love is not an obligation, nor is it a chain. That we may love someone does not mean that they must, in turn, love us in the same way. And if you are to be loved, let yourself be loved for who you are- not for what someone else wants you to be. If you change yourself so that another may love you... what kind of love is that? If they love what you forced yourself to be, not who you truly are, then do they really love you, or just the image you presented? It is a sure path to misery, and I would not wish that upon anyone.
There is another love that many people forget, but it is an important one: it is the love of the self. You must love yourself. If you cannot look at yourself and love the person you are, then how could you hope others would love that person too? And if they do love that person, do they really love *you*? Love yourself, Aiden. Be the man you are meant to be, in your heart. With Limerance's grace, your family will love that person too- they will see what you see, the beauty and wonder of a life lived true to one's own self. But even if they do not- if they cannot see past their selfishness and expectations... love yourself regardless. Because your love for them is not an obligation, and trying to live as if it was, will bring you misery. It will not be easy, but you are not alone.
---
Those were words I needed to hear, the good I needed to hear. I needed to write anew to believe in them, and needed to embrace them. I wanted very much to be a private man, to keep my thoughts to myself, for some will certainly ruffle feathers. Then I remembered, it is my truth, these words. These are my reflections, drawn from my experiences.
I have shared and lived through horrible experiences with all of you, experiences I never wanted or sought. Yes, these experiences changed me, how could they not? I saw. I came to the city for the love of my brother, to help him find himself again when he had locked himself away in grief. I remained in the city not of my own will once he rose up again, instead I remained for the will of circumstance, and after the siege, I remain because of love. Love for my family, my friends, and importantly, for love for someone I have cherished from the first moment he tolerated me falling asleep on him.
The bad led me to the good. Without all that bad, I wouldn't have the good. I would still be in Bastion, living a quiet life, hidden amongst the mews and the tangles of the forest. I would not have met all my friends, nor seen the valor of my family, nor, met my first love. There's so much good, if you can manage the bad. For both in equal are a part of our lives.
So I say this, for I hear many rumors and feel that many of you believe in truths that no longer remain.
I love my brother. My journal calling him out was a misunderstanding and one that was written when I had a night of Crow's Rum to thank. I have not touched the stuff since - very good though, if you need to get drunk fast, that's the stuff. In any case. I submitted my apologies to my brother. Our challenge ahead will be between us, to learn and understand who've we've become, who we are now. That we are different people, changed by what we've experienced. We are brothers and brothers, quarrel. If people tell you that brothers don't fight, they lie. Hurts will pass. New understandings will form. Love has always been there.
Then, there is the great need for people to know my business of love and sharing my heart. So I will reveal it so that I may no longer be of subject of whispers and campaigns of rumors. What you may have heard is true. I am with Silas Whitehawk, we became something more than friends sometime after the siege. Be happy for us, for it is a rare thing to be accepted fully and utterly by a fellow human. I've only known animals to love unconditionally. Silas changed my way of thinking in that regard. He's never asked anything of me, shares everything with me, and we're happy - he makes me happy. Was it meant to be kept secret? No. It was never secret, we never denied it, perhaps I may have indicated that a certain book that made us into fictional characters, which isn't the same thing as denying it, for that book isn't truthful but a work of imagination, clearly. I'm no soldier.
What I am is a private man and I told my close friends when it came time for them to know, for I suspected they already knew or were eager to ask. I didn't tell my siblings at the time because we weren't very close, not in the same way that my friends are close, which is why I reacted the way I did in my previous journal despite the liquor. I was upset that I felt so disconnected from family. That is something I may very well work on, if they choose to do the same.
I am content with the good and the bad in my life, though there is much less the latter. I have so much to be grateful for and so much to give back to those around me and those in my life. The menagerie is just one way I hope to give back for all the good in my life. I hope to find more ways, soon. I know who I am now and what I'm capable of. It's time I find out how far I can go and how I can help the Arvum, or more simply, those who come into my life.
I am Aiden Grayson: bird geek animal enthusiast who enjoys tea, doesn't eat meat, likes yellow silk, steel-gray pants, and hugs a plush polar bear... and treasures a glass parrot and a metal dove! There's a lot more to me, for now...
...I am happy with that.
I am awake, unable to sleep. This is not unusual. It happens more often since the siege, especially when I'm alone. The memories of what I experienced come back and haunt my dreams. What if the Bringer in the Hall of Heroes had squeezed his hand around my neck a little tighter and all those people weren't there, my cousin Barric, Silas, Merek and many more whose faces blur when I try to recall that horrible moment? What if Orazio couldn't stop what was transpiring in the Queensrest and what if that man who knifed me in the back had hit somewhere vital? What if the thug had dragged his knife deep into my throat and all those Iron Guards and Mercenaries weren't there to stop him? What if that chair or that ... gods forbid, woman... hit me the right way when a Bringer flung them at me? What if Ainsley wasn't there to catch me when I fell off that balcony? What if... Estaban failed to jump into action? What if... the people I loved, didn't come home?
Should I be ashamed of these thoughts that wake me at night? I don't think so. For each of them remind me how precious life is. How precious the conviction of our family, friends, and our lovers are. It reminds me of how I am not alone, even if in the present physical I am. No. I am not ashamed. For these memories remind me of each and every person who has touched my life. With bad, there is always a balance of good and the good is that, my life is so much fuller for it.
Speaking of bad and the returning of good, my mind turns back to hearing Limerance's words spoken through his chosen, his Archlector. It is my hopes that when I write them, I will further remember them and live by these words. Here's what I recall most:
---
Like all things worth doing, though, it will take effort. As they say, nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight- and the love of family is something worth fighting for.
Strength of heart, of faith, of love can lead to as much greatness as strength of arms. Do not be ashamed of who and what you are, and who you love. If they think you a failure, the fault lies with them, not with you- for who would wish upon their own family the joyless life of following a path that is not your own? Do not think yourself a failure. You are who you are- and no one else can be who you are. Embrace your path with an open heart, let your love light the way, and you will *soar*.
Love is not an obligation, nor is it a chain. That we may love someone does not mean that they must, in turn, love us in the same way. And if you are to be loved, let yourself be loved for who you are- not for what someone else wants you to be. If you change yourself so that another may love you... what kind of love is that? If they love what you forced yourself to be, not who you truly are, then do they really love you, or just the image you presented? It is a sure path to misery, and I would not wish that upon anyone.
There is another love that many people forget, but it is an important one: it is the love of the self. You must love yourself. If you cannot look at yourself and love the person you are, then how could you hope others would love that person too? And if they do love that person, do they really love *you*? Love yourself, Aiden. Be the man you are meant to be, in your heart. With Limerance's grace, your family will love that person too- they will see what you see, the beauty and wonder of a life lived true to one's own self. But even if they do not- if they cannot see past their selfishness and expectations... love yourself regardless. Because your love for them is not an obligation, and trying to live as if it was, will bring you misery. It will not be easy, but you are not alone.
---
Those were words I needed to hear, the good I needed to hear. I needed to write anew to believe in them, and needed to embrace them. I wanted very much to be a private man, to keep my thoughts to myself, for some will certainly ruffle feathers. Then I remembered, it is my truth, these words. These are my reflections, drawn from my experiences.
I have shared and lived through horrible experiences with all of you, experiences I never wanted or sought. Yes, these experiences changed me, how could they not? I saw. I came to the city for the love of my brother, to help him find himself again when he had locked himself away in grief. I remained in the city not of my own will once he rose up again, instead I remained for the will of circumstance, and after the siege, I remain because of love. Love for my family, my friends, and importantly, for love for someone I have cherished from the first moment he tolerated me falling asleep on him.
The bad led me to the good. Without all that bad, I wouldn't have the good. I would still be in Bastion, living a quiet life, hidden amongst the mews and the tangles of the forest. I would not have met all my friends, nor seen the valor of my family, nor, met my first love. There's so much good, if you can manage the bad. For both in equal are a part of our lives.
So I say this, for I hear many rumors and feel that many of you believe in truths that no longer remain.
I love my brother. My journal calling him out was a misunderstanding and one that was written when I had a night of Crow's Rum to thank. I have not touched the stuff since - very good though, if you need to get drunk fast, that's the stuff. In any case. I submitted my apologies to my brother. Our challenge ahead will be between us, to learn and understand who've we've become, who we are now. That we are different people, changed by what we've experienced. We are brothers and brothers, quarrel. If people tell you that brothers don't fight, they lie. Hurts will pass. New understandings will form. Love has always been there.
Then, there is the great need for people to know my business of love and sharing my heart. So I will reveal it so that I may no longer be of subject of whispers and campaigns of rumors. What you may have heard is true. I am with Silas Whitehawk, we became something more than friends sometime after the siege. Be happy for us, for it is a rare thing to be accepted fully and utterly by a fellow human. I've only known animals to love unconditionally. Silas changed my way of thinking in that regard. He's never asked anything of me, shares everything with me, and we're happy - he makes me happy. Was it meant to be kept secret? No. It was never secret, we never denied it, perhaps I may have indicated that a certain book that made us into fictional characters, which isn't the same thing as denying it, for that book isn't truthful but a work of imagination, clearly. I'm no soldier.
What I am is a private man and I told my close friends when it came time for them to know, for I suspected they already knew or were eager to ask. I didn't tell my siblings at the time because we weren't very close, not in the same way that my friends are close, which is why I reacted the way I did in my previous journal despite the liquor. I was upset that I felt so disconnected from family. That is something I may very well work on, if they choose to do the same.
I am content with the good and the bad in my life, though there is much less the latter. I have so much to be grateful for and so much to give back to those around me and those in my life. The menagerie is just one way I hope to give back for all the good in my life. I hope to find more ways, soon. I know who I am now and what I'm capable of. It's time I find out how far I can go and how I can help the Arvum, or more simply, those who come into my life.
I am Aiden Grayson: bird geek animal enthusiast who enjoys tea, doesn't eat meat, likes yellow silk, steel-gray pants, and hugs a plush polar bear... and treasures a glass parrot and a metal dove! There's a lot more to me, for now...
...I am happy with that.
Written By Alexis
June 4, 2017, 3:29 a.m.(8/3/1006 AR)
I've been wracking my mind some, what to write about the night in the Valardin Hall. I'm sure the Black Reflections contain some about it already, but I shan't speculate too hard on that.
Already, I've been thanked for my efforts. And that's flattering. Once the foe revealed itself, I didn't do much, really - I stood with Princess Alis, and I got a chance to wield Wyrmstooth for real, for the first time.
I'm pleased to report that the old lady still performs admirably.
I'm also pleased to report that Princess Alis has married one of the finest bowmen in Arvum.
There were a number of others present, and their contributions helped make a difference. I am grateful to them. Princess Sasha and Prince Valerion Valardin. Marquis Marius and Lady Eirlys Greenmarch, Lady Charlaine Blanchard. They all played a vital role in defeating the enemy that hid within the hall.
Already, I've been thanked for my efforts. And that's flattering. Once the foe revealed itself, I didn't do much, really - I stood with Princess Alis, and I got a chance to wield Wyrmstooth for real, for the first time.
I'm pleased to report that the old lady still performs admirably.
I'm also pleased to report that Princess Alis has married one of the finest bowmen in Arvum.
There were a number of others present, and their contributions helped make a difference. I am grateful to them. Princess Sasha and Prince Valerion Valardin. Marquis Marius and Lady Eirlys Greenmarch, Lady Charlaine Blanchard. They all played a vital role in defeating the enemy that hid within the hall.
Written By Alexis
June 4, 2017, 3 a.m.(8/3/1006 AR)
I went to the arm-wrestling contest one Prince Fergus Redrain was setting up in the bar in the Redrain Ward they call the Spirits (which, good job on the pun, I guess?).
I got knocked out by one Lord Estaban Saik. Who then proceeded to remain unbeaten. He'd've had a place in the final bout...
Except, he had to leave, and so did his cousin, and so I was brought in again, and it turns out I just need some warming up. The next couple of bouts were hard fought, and Dame Greenblood is as an impressive as opponent as any - I honestly didn't think I'd win.
But win I did. And mistress Manicelli seemed awfully distracted. So I won that bout as well.
And then I was declared winner and had free drinks.
The good news is, my head doesn't hurt that much. I had a lot of water before bed.
I made sure mistress Manicelli had a goodly amount, too.
I got knocked out by one Lord Estaban Saik. Who then proceeded to remain unbeaten. He'd've had a place in the final bout...
Except, he had to leave, and so did his cousin, and so I was brought in again, and it turns out I just need some warming up. The next couple of bouts were hard fought, and Dame Greenblood is as an impressive as opponent as any - I honestly didn't think I'd win.
But win I did. And mistress Manicelli seemed awfully distracted. So I won that bout as well.
And then I was declared winner and had free drinks.
The good news is, my head doesn't hurt that much. I had a lot of water before bed.
I made sure mistress Manicelli had a goodly amount, too.
Written By Ford
June 4, 2017, 1:45 a.m.(8/3/1006 AR)
May the winds of change be ever at your backs.
Written By Merek
June 3, 2017, 10:36 p.m.(8/2/1006 AR)
Relationship Note on Bliss
A new Whisper that I've met at the Whisper House. She seems to be kind and well-versed in their ways, making her a wonderful person to talk to for insight into things. I should like to learn more about her sometime.
Written By Kahlana
June 3, 2017, 10:18 p.m.(8/2/1006 AR)
Relationship Note on Turo
Thank you for saving my life M'lord, when I am done healing I will take you for a drink.
Written By Caelis
June 3, 2017, 10:14 p.m.(8/2/1006 AR)
On the Arvum Refugee Relief Group,
I am so honored and humbled by the support we have seen already with the group. I am optimistic that we can see all these people settled and reclaiming their lives again. It's a massive undertaking, and an experience I don't think I'll ever forget. All the fairy tales I read, the stories of the great battles, no one ever mentions all the people displaced. I think if new fairy tales are written, it should be about these people, who fled their homes to survive and have to start new again, remake their lives. They're heroes in my eyes.
May your hopes find safe harbors.
I am so honored and humbled by the support we have seen already with the group. I am optimistic that we can see all these people settled and reclaiming their lives again. It's a massive undertaking, and an experience I don't think I'll ever forget. All the fairy tales I read, the stories of the great battles, no one ever mentions all the people displaced. I think if new fairy tales are written, it should be about these people, who fled their homes to survive and have to start new again, remake their lives. They're heroes in my eyes.
May your hopes find safe harbors.
Written By Malena
June 3, 2017, 10:13 p.m.(8/2/1006 AR)
Relationship Note on Aurora
Got a new dress. It's purple. I think Mistress Aurora did a really nice job. I've gotten two compliments already.
Written By Charlaine
June 3, 2017, 10:09 p.m.(8/2/1006 AR)
I thank you all for reaching out to me over the horrors of the last few days. I want you all to know your thoughts and well wishes have been well received.
Written By Caelis
June 3, 2017, 9:59 p.m.(8/2/1006 AR)
Relationship Note on Edain
I have never spared so long against an opponent or had so close a match! It's surprisingly easy to take up some fun banter with his Grace. It might not be current events, but I like that he appreciates the pranks I play on my brother. And that he's such a fine swordsman, I suppose that is worthy of note as well.
Written By Kahlana
June 3, 2017, 9:51 p.m.(8/2/1006 AR)
I saved lives out whaling, took the claws and teeth from an Icebear and survived ... the North turns out solid soldiers, "we fear no storm".
Written By Edward
June 3, 2017, 8:18 p.m.(8/2/1006 AR)
Relationship Note on Juliet
We shared one drink together. Far too few. The next drink I raise to you will be in remembrance.
Written By Mailys
June 3, 2017, 8:10 p.m.(8/2/1006 AR)
Relationship Note on Cicero
What has been done will be as such for as long as you want it to be.
Written By Mailys
June 3, 2017, 8:09 p.m.(8/2/1006 AR)
I stand in unison with Dire Mailys on closing out doors for Lady Juliet and those lost.
I just need to figure out how to pass the time now.
I just need to figure out how to pass the time now.
Written By Mailys
June 3, 2017, 8:08 p.m.(8/2/1006 AR)
Relationship Note on Juliet
Taken from us fa too soon. My patron, my lovely lady. My dearest friend. Perhaps we will meet again one day.
Written By Turo
June 3, 2017, 5:52 p.m.(8/2/1006 AR)
I have come to Arx at my father's discretion. I have never visited the city before, Escuma was home for me. I was much more at home along the coast of my homeland than I am with the constant bustling and energy of Arx.
No ill will given to the city, I'm sure it has it's upsides, but I can only assume my father has brought me here in an attempt to marry and add numbers to our already small house. If it is duty, I accept it, but I would rather have a purpose here beyond just that.
Still, I will see what happens. Perhaps something more worthwhile than that will develop for me. One can only hope.
No ill will given to the city, I'm sure it has it's upsides, but I can only assume my father has brought me here in an attempt to marry and add numbers to our already small house. If it is duty, I accept it, but I would rather have a purpose here beyond just that.
Still, I will see what happens. Perhaps something more worthwhile than that will develop for me. One can only hope.
Written By Esoka
June 3, 2017, 5:18 p.m.(8/2/1006 AR)
Relationship Note on Gisele
Not all warriors fight with swords, and I sometimes think the scholars who array themselves against darkness and lost knowledge with their wits have the more difficult task. The priestess Gisele and I are different sorts of women, but I have found her to be brave and stalwart and warm of spirit. Not to mention very, very smart, which I need oftentimes. I am proud and happy to call her my friend.
Written By Thena
June 3, 2017, 5:10 p.m.(8/2/1006 AR)
Relationship Note on Estaban
Guardsman Estaban, don't come down here and tell people what you are going to do for them. Spend some time here until you figure out what people want and need. It's not always what you think.
Also, we're not all downtrodden and miserable. For good or ill, this is our home.
Also, we're not all downtrodden and miserable. For good or ill, this is our home.
Please note that the scholars may take some time preparing your journal for others to read.