Written By Derovai
July 25, 2018, 3:45 p.m.(4/6/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Sabella
There was actually something I was supposed to tell you, but I forgot what it was. I suppose "Happy birthday" will have to suffice. Since you said "no" before to me buying you a drink, you can buy me a drink for your birthday.
Written By Jacali
July 25, 2018, 3:43 p.m.(4/6/1009 AR)
She wanted somethin' with roses, she did. No specifics. No details. Not a sausage. S'pose now that I got what I needed done all away and delivered, I might well try my hand at the wishes of a Princess at that. After all, aren't never made nothin' so specifically pink, and never knowin' what kinda coin can be made when you're willin' to roll up your sleeves and root in the garden. S'pose it's time I well and truly stopped and smelled 'em, ey? Aye, s'pose it is.
Written By Saoirse
July 25, 2018, 3:23 p.m.(4/6/1009 AR)
The history of Arx sure is interesting. I learned a lot this week.
Written By Sabella
July 25, 2018, 3:13 p.m.(4/6/1009 AR)
I'd like to thank everyone for their birthday wishes! Especially Mistress Lottie who sent me the most delicious strawberry cake I've ever had! I was even able to keep it down! And Princess Tikva, who wrote the most wonderful things about me. I know how very busy she is every day and that she took the time to sit down and be so generous with her thoughts was worth more than all the tiaras in the world!
But she also gave me a tiara which is EXQUISITE!!!!! I'll be wearing it for the rest of my life if anyone wants to see it.
And most especially to my husband, who let me read that journal entry before he handed it off to the scholars. It was a lovely way to wake up this morning. Every morning is made more wonderful because I wake up beside him, but that he finds ways to make me feel so special daily makes me the very luckiest person in the entire world! I love you more than the stars, Niklas Grayson, and I now wear some in my hair so you know that's a lot!
Very sincerely, thank you everyone who wished me well. I have a feeling 24 is going to be the greatest year of my life!
But she also gave me a tiara which is EXQUISITE!!!!! I'll be wearing it for the rest of my life if anyone wants to see it.
And most especially to my husband, who let me read that journal entry before he handed it off to the scholars. It was a lovely way to wake up this morning. Every morning is made more wonderful because I wake up beside him, but that he finds ways to make me feel so special daily makes me the very luckiest person in the entire world! I love you more than the stars, Niklas Grayson, and I now wear some in my hair so you know that's a lot!
Very sincerely, thank you everyone who wished me well. I have a feeling 24 is going to be the greatest year of my life!
Written By Daemon
July 25, 2018, 3:04 p.m.(4/6/1009 AR)
Day 3 of being stationed at the murder.
The children gathered to drink imaginary tea all day. I told them that this would not stand as tea is not conducive to building a strong, healthy body. As they are children and therefore smaller and fragile, they would benefit greatly from drinking a beverage that encourages their growth. Most of them stared at me and said nothing, but I was not put off.
After showing them a profound drawing of a cow, made by myself, they began to understand. Now we drink invisible and imaginary milk for 'tea time'.
I have definitely lost track of my original point in this adventure, but I believe they're one step closer to good living.
The children gathered to drink imaginary tea all day. I told them that this would not stand as tea is not conducive to building a strong, healthy body. As they are children and therefore smaller and fragile, they would benefit greatly from drinking a beverage that encourages their growth. Most of them stared at me and said nothing, but I was not put off.
After showing them a profound drawing of a cow, made by myself, they began to understand. Now we drink invisible and imaginary milk for 'tea time'.
I have definitely lost track of my original point in this adventure, but I believe they're one step closer to good living.
Written By Eirene
July 25, 2018, 2:54 p.m.(4/6/1009 AR)
Seriously, this umbra coat is amazing. I've gotten blood, spit-up, and piss on it (thanks to my son) (and not all at the same time, mind you) and yet it just wipes clean. I have the best lady friends who deserve better than me.
Written By Coraline
July 25, 2018, 2:25 p.m.(4/6/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Reigna
The day I took my Physician exam I remember the terminal case well, one I shall never forget. It was hard, my heart cried for that woman and moreso for her brother still and the rest of her family. But I would never accuse you of cruelty for it, for this too is part of being a Physician as you said. The work is necessary, hard yes, but just because something is hard does not mean we should turn our back on it.
It takes the sort of courage that often isn't seen to do what the Mercies and the Physician's Guild do daily, it takes a strength of character and spirit to face pain, death, and illness and keep going, over and over and over again. I can say that I am often, and repeatedly, impressed by those I work with from the apprentices straight through to those who run both the Mercies and the Guild. They fight battles and wage wars unseen, heroes all.
It takes the sort of courage that often isn't seen to do what the Mercies and the Physician's Guild do daily, it takes a strength of character and spirit to face pain, death, and illness and keep going, over and over and over again. I can say that I am often, and repeatedly, impressed by those I work with from the apprentices straight through to those who run both the Mercies and the Guild. They fight battles and wage wars unseen, heroes all.
Written By Esoka
July 25, 2018, 2:05 p.m.(4/6/1009 AR)
Norwood Clement, Sword of Artshall, was good enough to invite me to attend a gathering of House Swords, even though my own time as Sword of the Twainfort has come to an end. I got to see heirloom blades I’d never beheld before, like Dagon Tyde’s Sword of the Malestrom and Cullen Greenmarch’s beautiful Greenmarch House sword. And see how newer Swords, like Kaldur Seliki, Mirari Corsetina, and Ian Kennex, were carrying the weight of their honors. Also there were cookies! It was a fine night among fellow warriors.
Inquisitor Alistair attended briefly to remind us that not all carry their Swords with honor at all times, and those stains are not easily forgotten. Nor should they be. Whatever justifications for our actions we bend toward after the fact, the world judges as it will and the Sentinel even higher than that. Particularly when the swing of your weapon carries not only your own honor, but that of the House you serve.
I pray my actions when I held the Twain were ones that honored it, and that I left the blade’s legacy in good repair when I passed it on. I confess I miss it, more than I thought I would. It was a constant reminder to guard my own honor and actions with extra care, and I think that’s good for a knight to have. It’s easy to fall prey to hubris or bullying or thinking you’re better than someone else just because you were dubbed. Now, I shall just have to carry the memory of it to keep me on the right path, and conduct myself as I feel a knight should without something – or someone – to remind me.
Inquisitor Alistair attended briefly to remind us that not all carry their Swords with honor at all times, and those stains are not easily forgotten. Nor should they be. Whatever justifications for our actions we bend toward after the fact, the world judges as it will and the Sentinel even higher than that. Particularly when the swing of your weapon carries not only your own honor, but that of the House you serve.
I pray my actions when I held the Twain were ones that honored it, and that I left the blade’s legacy in good repair when I passed it on. I confess I miss it, more than I thought I would. It was a constant reminder to guard my own honor and actions with extra care, and I think that’s good for a knight to have. It’s easy to fall prey to hubris or bullying or thinking you’re better than someone else just because you were dubbed. Now, I shall just have to carry the memory of it to keep me on the right path, and conduct myself as I feel a knight should without something – or someone – to remind me.
Written By Coraline
July 25, 2018, 1:59 p.m.(4/6/1009 AR)
When I went to help the rescued children find their place at the Murder and help with their protection and being seen to, I could not have imagined such resilience if I had tried. Other than coloring Sir Daemon, and he looks very nice with the myriad of lovely chalk paintings, these children have show a capacity for joy that I wouldn't have expected.
I won't say that my own armor hasn't found itself adorned by a flower or two, or twelve. I am happy to supply canvas to such incredible artists. I am humbled by the strength these children show and can only hope I face any future hurdles with the the same.
I won't say that my own armor hasn't found itself adorned by a flower or two, or twelve. I am happy to supply canvas to such incredible artists. I am humbled by the strength these children show and can only hope I face any future hurdles with the the same.
Written By Sparte
July 25, 2018, 1:44 p.m.(4/6/1009 AR)
This week has left me with an ill wind. I feel as though I've tried to accomplish too much and too little. Have seen both too much success and too much failure. It draws attention, but it doesn't satisfy. It helps people, but the people hurt are more obvious.
It feels like a thousand stories all broken into lines and me with just one book to lay them out. If this week were a page it would be one jarring in the differences between the lines. Not a single line from my own ink.
Yet the book is mine, I allowed it to be written that way. Now it is my responsibility to make sense of it in the chapters to come.
It feels like a thousand stories all broken into lines and me with just one book to lay them out. If this week were a page it would be one jarring in the differences between the lines. Not a single line from my own ink.
Yet the book is mine, I allowed it to be written that way. Now it is my responsibility to make sense of it in the chapters to come.
Written By Reigna
July 25, 2018, 1:40 p.m.(4/6/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Aureth
That sermon is a perfect example of how much you offer us with your wisdom. You eloquently and persuasively frame situations and show us the path to finding peace. That is not an easy thing. You often make difficult concepts and conflicts seem easy, and I have often been grateful for it.
Death is, in the eyes of many physicians, failure. Before advancing to the rank of Physicians, I always ensure that my apprentices have first hand experience with a terminal case, make them deal with the family and loved ones to give this news. I do not do this to be cruel, though I have had upset apprentices accuse me of this. I do this because it not something we can hide from.
And I have held a number of physicians as they have wept over losing a patient. It can be heartbreaking for a healer to try, to work, to do everything you can to shepherd someone back to health. It is natural to become invested, to put your pride, your sense of self into the act of being a savior. It is a very difficult lesson for a healer to recognize those feelings for the trap they are. We will not be able to save everyone. It is not, ultimately, under our control. We can and should do all we can. But when our patients die, it is not always our fault. We push ourselves. We do everything we can. And when that is not enough? We have to accept it. Is that easy? Never. Good things are almost never easy.
Death is not the enemy. I give thanks to her everyday. For the life she gave me. For the heart that feels so much joy and excitement, for a soul that can appreciate the wonder found in each new day, each new layer to the world around me. These are gifts and I am so thankful.
Death is, in the eyes of many physicians, failure. Before advancing to the rank of Physicians, I always ensure that my apprentices have first hand experience with a terminal case, make them deal with the family and loved ones to give this news. I do not do this to be cruel, though I have had upset apprentices accuse me of this. I do this because it not something we can hide from.
And I have held a number of physicians as they have wept over losing a patient. It can be heartbreaking for a healer to try, to work, to do everything you can to shepherd someone back to health. It is natural to become invested, to put your pride, your sense of self into the act of being a savior. It is a very difficult lesson for a healer to recognize those feelings for the trap they are. We will not be able to save everyone. It is not, ultimately, under our control. We can and should do all we can. But when our patients die, it is not always our fault. We push ourselves. We do everything we can. And when that is not enough? We have to accept it. Is that easy? Never. Good things are almost never easy.
Death is not the enemy. I give thanks to her everyday. For the life she gave me. For the heart that feels so much joy and excitement, for a soul that can appreciate the wonder found in each new day, each new layer to the world around me. These are gifts and I am so thankful.
Written By Jeffeth
July 25, 2018, 1:26 p.m.(4/6/1009 AR)
I want to be clear. I did not challenge Sir Jordan Ober for 'not protecting Brother Martin'. Nor did I challenge him for not being able to bring him back. Though I do appreciate the words. It took a challenge, many peoples in the whites outrage, and apparently one of the most powerful people in the compact for Sir Jordan to give me his sincere condolences, but all the same, it came. But Sir Jordan was not challenged for what he apologized for.
Sir Jordan was challenged for trying to bait me into a fight. Pushing and prodding me while I am admittedly out of my mind. When I showed up, the first thing he said to me was 'You're not here to kill us all are you?' with a smirk. I just stared at him, because I had no words. He stared back, letting me know he wasn't afraid of me. I didn't want him to be afraid of me. I don't want him to be afraid of me. Throughout the night he sent a few barbs my way, trying to pick a fight. I resisted until I was about to leave. I should've kept resisting. I'm sorry, Martin. That's why I challenged him. He was trying his best to barb his way into provoking me while claiming he was being polite and that I was the insane savage beast. It's an easy thing to do right now. But a knight shouldn't do it.
My challenge wasn't about Martin, it was about me. Once I realized that it made me think a lot about it. I read Archlector Aureth's post and I thought more about it. I have done and said things since Martin died, things I know Martin wouldn't like. I threw a man on the ground, then punched him, I screamed at a Scholar, I broke a shovel so no one could help me with my task, I've been rude, I've been sullen, I've been a handful. I know that. I'm sorry about that. I'm going to try not to do that anymore, but I'm not sure how good I am going to be at it just yet. All of this would be a disappointment to Brother Martin. Not a huge disappointment, because even in this time he would be understanding, he would know how much I hurt and he would be empathetic. He would know how hard losing him is. But he would encourage me to be better. I know that.
In the past days I will say that there are some people who are good at dealing with someone who is out of there mind with grief, I didn't really realize while it was happening. But I thank you.
Then there are those that are not so good with it. People who have tried to lecture me, or tell me that my mind is closed, or that I'm self-righteous, or that I need to get over it, or people that won't fucking leave me alone when I try so hard to ask nicely. When you all are ravaged with pain, I hope you don't have to experience these things. Sir Jordan falls in the second category, clearly.
It is hard what I am trying to say. I am admitting to fault, I know I have done wrong in the past few days. But that isn't to say Sir Jordan is blameless. He's not, he acted completely in contradiction to how a knight should act. It was dishonorable and his apology had nothing to do with his behavior. If I had done something like that, or one of my Brothers or Sisters in arms had done something like that they would not be let off the hook. But, I'm rescinding the challenge. I know that the intent of Sir Jordan's retraction was to not fight the duel, even if he didn't actually apologize for what he was challenged for, but so there's no confusion, I am dropping the challenge. Sir Jordan can do whatever he likes and his behavior is between him and one of the most important people in the Compact I suppose. I apologize for the challenge, I should have just let it go.
I also want to make clear that I never said if I was there I could have done better. But if I was there, and those losses were sustained, I would have considered it a failure. In the future I would /need/ to do better. I'm not trying to say that those who fought there did not do so honorably, and did not do their very best. I thank them for their fight, I thank them (including Sir Ober) for risking their lives for Martin and for the Compact. That doesn't mean I'm not angry with them. And I imagine, in time, that anger will fade, once I accept it. I appreciate Princess Astraea's comments on it in the Whites. When I wrote my journal before, I was so angry, but that's all I wanted. Really. But I realize now that I shouldn't have pressed for that, and I'm sorry. I'm trying to find the other things Sir Jordan accused me of in his challenge acceptance so I can address them, but apparently it has been taken down. If Sir Jordan would like me to address them, I am willing to.
I apologize for my behavior. For my harsh words. I will do my best to be better, to be able to rise above. For all those who have sent very supportive messages to me, I thank you. I hear you and appreciate you, even if I'm not very good at expressing it right now.
Sir Jordan was challenged for trying to bait me into a fight. Pushing and prodding me while I am admittedly out of my mind. When I showed up, the first thing he said to me was 'You're not here to kill us all are you?' with a smirk. I just stared at him, because I had no words. He stared back, letting me know he wasn't afraid of me. I didn't want him to be afraid of me. I don't want him to be afraid of me. Throughout the night he sent a few barbs my way, trying to pick a fight. I resisted until I was about to leave. I should've kept resisting. I'm sorry, Martin. That's why I challenged him. He was trying his best to barb his way into provoking me while claiming he was being polite and that I was the insane savage beast. It's an easy thing to do right now. But a knight shouldn't do it.
My challenge wasn't about Martin, it was about me. Once I realized that it made me think a lot about it. I read Archlector Aureth's post and I thought more about it. I have done and said things since Martin died, things I know Martin wouldn't like. I threw a man on the ground, then punched him, I screamed at a Scholar, I broke a shovel so no one could help me with my task, I've been rude, I've been sullen, I've been a handful. I know that. I'm sorry about that. I'm going to try not to do that anymore, but I'm not sure how good I am going to be at it just yet. All of this would be a disappointment to Brother Martin. Not a huge disappointment, because even in this time he would be understanding, he would know how much I hurt and he would be empathetic. He would know how hard losing him is. But he would encourage me to be better. I know that.
In the past days I will say that there are some people who are good at dealing with someone who is out of there mind with grief, I didn't really realize while it was happening. But I thank you.
Then there are those that are not so good with it. People who have tried to lecture me, or tell me that my mind is closed, or that I'm self-righteous, or that I need to get over it, or people that won't fucking leave me alone when I try so hard to ask nicely. When you all are ravaged with pain, I hope you don't have to experience these things. Sir Jordan falls in the second category, clearly.
It is hard what I am trying to say. I am admitting to fault, I know I have done wrong in the past few days. But that isn't to say Sir Jordan is blameless. He's not, he acted completely in contradiction to how a knight should act. It was dishonorable and his apology had nothing to do with his behavior. If I had done something like that, or one of my Brothers or Sisters in arms had done something like that they would not be let off the hook. But, I'm rescinding the challenge. I know that the intent of Sir Jordan's retraction was to not fight the duel, even if he didn't actually apologize for what he was challenged for, but so there's no confusion, I am dropping the challenge. Sir Jordan can do whatever he likes and his behavior is between him and one of the most important people in the Compact I suppose. I apologize for the challenge, I should have just let it go.
I also want to make clear that I never said if I was there I could have done better. But if I was there, and those losses were sustained, I would have considered it a failure. In the future I would /need/ to do better. I'm not trying to say that those who fought there did not do so honorably, and did not do their very best. I thank them for their fight, I thank them (including Sir Ober) for risking their lives for Martin and for the Compact. That doesn't mean I'm not angry with them. And I imagine, in time, that anger will fade, once I accept it. I appreciate Princess Astraea's comments on it in the Whites. When I wrote my journal before, I was so angry, but that's all I wanted. Really. But I realize now that I shouldn't have pressed for that, and I'm sorry. I'm trying to find the other things Sir Jordan accused me of in his challenge acceptance so I can address them, but apparently it has been taken down. If Sir Jordan would like me to address them, I am willing to.
I apologize for my behavior. For my harsh words. I will do my best to be better, to be able to rise above. For all those who have sent very supportive messages to me, I thank you. I hear you and appreciate you, even if I'm not very good at expressing it right now.
Written By Caith
July 25, 2018, 1:26 p.m.(4/6/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Jordan
Oh wait. But you /didn't/ actually apologize for what you were challenged for so you have yet to do the right thing. All the more pity, that.
For shame!
For shame!
Written By Caith
July 25, 2018, 1:09 p.m.(4/6/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Jordan
It is a pity that it required you talking to trusted friends and /one of the most powerful people in the Compact/ before you could figure out that you shouldn't be accepting the challenge of a grief-stricken man but hopefully you will learn from this experience and this will be the first step on your journey towards finding your heart.
Congratulations on doing the right thing even if it took some extra effort.
Congratulations on doing the right thing even if it took some extra effort.
Written By Alis
July 25, 2018, 12:28 p.m.(4/6/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Aureth
That was a very touching sermon, Archlector. And I sincerely hope that everyone took the time to not just read it, but really let it sink in. The vast majority of us have lost someone we love in the past few years. And I expect we have all felt guilt, and rage, and sorrow. I hope it helps others, as it helps me, to know that none are alone in these feelings.
I don’t think those feelings ever truly disappear, but they fade with time with thanks to Lagoma’s loving embrace. Through Jayus, we may see our lost loved ones in our dreams. And perhaps capture their image or essence through creative expression so we may always be reminded of the best parts of their lives.
I don’t think those feelings ever truly disappear, but they fade with time with thanks to Lagoma’s loving embrace. Through Jayus, we may see our lost loved ones in our dreams. And perhaps capture their image or essence through creative expression so we may always be reminded of the best parts of their lives.
Written By Helia
July 25, 2018, 12:21 p.m.(4/6/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Fredrik
Gods. Not sure what I can say, except that you've been the most wonderful father I could ask for, and that I truly appreciate the many sacrifices you've made for me. (Even if it doesn't always seem as though I do. Sorry for that.) I just hope I can continue to make you proud of me, and not drive you to despair as much in the future.
But! The way you're telling it, it makes it sound like I was trying to whack the cat or something, which I would never have done. I loved The Captain! He was my best friend. It just so happened that I always had that sword in my hand whenever I was chasing him. Which is possibly why he was always running away from me. But still.
But! The way you're telling it, it makes it sound like I was trying to whack the cat or something, which I would never have done. I loved The Captain! He was my best friend. It just so happened that I always had that sword in my hand whenever I was chasing him. Which is possibly why he was always running away from me. But still.
Written By Aleksei
July 25, 2018, 9:28 a.m.(4/6/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Preston
I am most definitely more sassy without requirements to behave anymore.
Written By Lisebet
July 25, 2018, 9:08 a.m.(4/6/1009 AR)
I stopped by the Explorer's seaside gauntlet. The caravel is very big and beautiful, and the event seemed to be quite fun. I even tried my hand at climbing the rigging, and much to my surprise I managed it! Of course I fell into the net when I tried to walk along the boom, but even that was fun since I did not get hurt. It was definitely worth trying and I encourage everyone to go to the next one. You might even find you've an aptitude for such things, unlike me.
Written By Clara
July 25, 2018, 9:08 a.m.(4/6/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Rowenova
I am sorry that you are feeling heartache, Nova. You will heal in time and you have friends who are here to support you through it. Let me know if there is anything I can do for you.
Written By Rowenova
July 25, 2018, 8:36 a.m.(4/6/1009 AR)
I traded back Willowfall -- the serrated ebon steel longsword -- to get back my spare keys for the Wolf Cave (aka Lily Apartment). I will need a new blade now (but have little silver at this particular time).
My first love shall soon become a Godsworn man (if he is not already by now).
Despite his insensitive heedlessness, I still care for the young Harrow man, deeply hoping he actually becomes the Blessed man he passionately wishes to be and can finally find true peace wherever his new path may lead him.
Dame Morrighan, ...I really need you to help me get absolutely wrecked today!
Added Later: My weapon needs have been generously fixed by Shaman Clara! <3
My first love shall soon become a Godsworn man (if he is not already by now).
Despite his insensitive heedlessness, I still care for the young Harrow man, deeply hoping he actually becomes the Blessed man he passionately wishes to be and can finally find true peace wherever his new path may lead him.
Dame Morrighan, ...I really need you to help me get absolutely wrecked today!
Added Later: My weapon needs have been generously fixed by Shaman Clara! <3
Please note that the scholars may take some time preparing your journal for others to read.