Written By Colette
Feb. 27, 2020, 4:38 a.m.(11/1/1012 AR)
Days since things have fallen apart. And still not a single word from the man who said he cared about me.
I am not sure I could get more salty at this point.
I am not sure I could get more salty at this point.
Written By Revell
Feb. 27, 2020, 4:28 a.m.(11/1/1012 AR)
Relationship Note on Valdemar
It appears that I haven't managed to get my point across sufficiently, Duke.
Something I have come to realise that I am exceedingly bad at, and that's something I am going to have to work at. But I am going to try one last time in hopes that it might save me some face.
When I suggest it may be more useful to focus on the cause of the anger, I did not mean it so literally. Bad weather? Late breakfast? Trivial things to get angry about and I'm sure that's why you used them as an example.
What I wanted to express is..
Gosh, writing like this is really difficult. Do people normally put this much thought into every words? Tangent, I'm sorry. I've already started this over several times and I am running a little low on paper, and I'm desperate to finish this.
What I wanted to express is my desire for people to be honest with themselves and look /past/ the anger. Say, if late breakfast and bad weather 'pissed you off', it probably has nothing to do with the weather or the breakfast. It probably has nothing to do with you feeling angry - it might, but it might not.
Say, for instance.. A random married man finds that his wife has hidden many letters of questionable nature in a hidden compartment in their house. Nothing is direct enough to serve as undeniable evidence that she is cheating, but he suspects she might be. Suddenly, any turn in the weather seems like the end of the world and the late breakfast causes him to snap at the servant bringing it to him.
Again, he might /just/ be angry. Angry is a comfortable feeling for many, it can feel Just and it is relatively easy to manage (in my own opinion). But say, maybe it doesn't make him angry. Maybe it makes him sad.
He really trusted his wife, and if she was ever lacking in love and affection from him, he always hoped she would talk to him rather than look elsewhere for it. Maybe he is even ready to forgive her so long as she choses /on her own/ to open up to him about the reasons why she strayed. He loves her so dearly, after all.
If sadness is what is causing him to spiral and he never acknowledges this, his anger might turn volitile as no matter how much he meditates on it and uses other coping mechanism, it just.. continues to gnaw and gnaw and gnaw at him until there is very little else left.
Now, I admit that the event I attended was /not/ the place to even attempt to say this. Turning up was the result of an invitation in the spur of the moment and I did not have the time to find out what the proper etiquette would be. My bad. I am happy to admit that I am entirely at fault there.
And for all I know, people may very well have been doing exactly as I hoped in their own mind, even if they didn't utter a word about it. I sincerely hope that is the case.
(In a weird, roundabout way. Me standing up and speaking my mind is such a way was me coming to terms with some of my own anger and frustration as well. I just.. did not do it in the most socially acceptable way. I'll learn.)
Something I have come to realise that I am exceedingly bad at, and that's something I am going to have to work at. But I am going to try one last time in hopes that it might save me some face.
When I suggest it may be more useful to focus on the cause of the anger, I did not mean it so literally. Bad weather? Late breakfast? Trivial things to get angry about and I'm sure that's why you used them as an example.
What I wanted to express is..
Gosh, writing like this is really difficult. Do people normally put this much thought into every words? Tangent, I'm sorry. I've already started this over several times and I am running a little low on paper, and I'm desperate to finish this.
What I wanted to express is my desire for people to be honest with themselves and look /past/ the anger. Say, if late breakfast and bad weather 'pissed you off', it probably has nothing to do with the weather or the breakfast. It probably has nothing to do with you feeling angry - it might, but it might not.
Say, for instance.. A random married man finds that his wife has hidden many letters of questionable nature in a hidden compartment in their house. Nothing is direct enough to serve as undeniable evidence that she is cheating, but he suspects she might be. Suddenly, any turn in the weather seems like the end of the world and the late breakfast causes him to snap at the servant bringing it to him.
Again, he might /just/ be angry. Angry is a comfortable feeling for many, it can feel Just and it is relatively easy to manage (in my own opinion). But say, maybe it doesn't make him angry. Maybe it makes him sad.
He really trusted his wife, and if she was ever lacking in love and affection from him, he always hoped she would talk to him rather than look elsewhere for it. Maybe he is even ready to forgive her so long as she choses /on her own/ to open up to him about the reasons why she strayed. He loves her so dearly, after all.
If sadness is what is causing him to spiral and he never acknowledges this, his anger might turn volitile as no matter how much he meditates on it and uses other coping mechanism, it just.. continues to gnaw and gnaw and gnaw at him until there is very little else left.
Now, I admit that the event I attended was /not/ the place to even attempt to say this. Turning up was the result of an invitation in the spur of the moment and I did not have the time to find out what the proper etiquette would be. My bad. I am happy to admit that I am entirely at fault there.
And for all I know, people may very well have been doing exactly as I hoped in their own mind, even if they didn't utter a word about it. I sincerely hope that is the case.
(In a weird, roundabout way. Me standing up and speaking my mind is such a way was me coming to terms with some of my own anger and frustration as well. I just.. did not do it in the most socially acceptable way. I'll learn.)
Written By Dycard
Feb. 27, 2020, 1:20 a.m.(11/1/1012 AR)
Relationship Note on Domonico
The pure simplicity of swordplay is something I needed on many levels.
The juddering impact of steel on steel demands attention. The ringing of blades blots out errant thoughts. If one's eye wanders from the opponent, one is summarily punished.
I can feel myself improving already, and have Lord Domonico to thank for that. He is a patient teacher, and I could ask for no finer instructor. It's been mere days since we first crossed swords, but I'm becoming faster, more precise, more canny with every lesson. It's statistically a possibility that I might even land a touch soon.
Still, I can't help but want to push myself harder. Time is of the essence, after all, and with all that Winter brings looming on the horizon, I have a very real deadline. Inaction and delay stifles me, like a soft weight pushing down on my throat.
There are some sharks in the deeps Arvum that are said to be ever in motion; the act of staying still for even a moment being genuinely perilous for them. I find that I can empathise.
The juddering impact of steel on steel demands attention. The ringing of blades blots out errant thoughts. If one's eye wanders from the opponent, one is summarily punished.
I can feel myself improving already, and have Lord Domonico to thank for that. He is a patient teacher, and I could ask for no finer instructor. It's been mere days since we first crossed swords, but I'm becoming faster, more precise, more canny with every lesson. It's statistically a possibility that I might even land a touch soon.
Still, I can't help but want to push myself harder. Time is of the essence, after all, and with all that Winter brings looming on the horizon, I have a very real deadline. Inaction and delay stifles me, like a soft weight pushing down on my throat.
There are some sharks in the deeps Arvum that are said to be ever in motion; the act of staying still for even a moment being genuinely perilous for them. I find that I can empathise.
Written By Brianna
Feb. 27, 2020, 12:39 a.m.(10/28/1012 AR)
Through a little too much wine and bad ideas, I seem to have come into possession of a sweet little dairy cow.
This is not how I had anticipated my week going.
This is not how I had anticipated my week going.
Written By Rysen
Feb. 27, 2020, midnight(10/28/1012 AR)
Relationship Note on Zoey
I spoke to Lord Ian Kennex recently to thank him for his efforts in the Red River Valley, and for the love of the gods and all of our senses of smell, I am hoping Lady Zoey might prevail upon her husband - at arrow point, if necessary - to either cleanse that foul and desecrated rag he calls a scarf in holy water, and lots and lots of whatever Marquessa Reigna accounts the most capable cleansing substance known to humanity, or burn it.
On second thought, I'm hoping she can just convince him to burn it.
On second thought, I'm hoping she can just convince him to burn it.
Written By Gabriella
Feb. 26, 2020, 11:08 p.m.(10/28/1012 AR)
Relationship Note on Sydney
In what way can I describe this?
Perhaps I can say only this: to attempt to put words to what I am feeling now would only make it lesser for trying to capture it.
So I shall simply savor it.
Perhaps I can say only this: to attempt to put words to what I am feeling now would only make it lesser for trying to capture it.
So I shall simply savor it.
Written By Joaquin
Feb. 26, 2020, 9:58 p.m.(10/28/1012 AR)
Ah Arx, we meet again. Time to revisit the old haunts, see who's still alive, who's not, and then see how we can fix that!
Written By Dianna
Feb. 26, 2020, 7:44 p.m.(10/28/1012 AR)
Relationship Note on Revell
I am very proud to write in my journals that I have taken my very first protege, Revell.
She is very honest, very open with her thoughts and very innocent in her mistakes, having not meant in the least to offend any with her forthrightness. She has also accepted my offer of patronage as part of her penitence, that I may better teach her what she lacks in understanding of the Faith.
I shall hope that those who read her journals may come to some understanding and compassion regarding someone who truly means no harm to any - particularly to the gods. And I shall work that those who yet do not understand her may come to have compassion upon her, as it is not rare for many to misunderstand the workings and ways of the gods. For some, like my protege, the understanding comes slowly; and yet, her desire to learn is as true and earnest as is her every word.
She is very honest, very open with her thoughts and very innocent in her mistakes, having not meant in the least to offend any with her forthrightness. She has also accepted my offer of patronage as part of her penitence, that I may better teach her what she lacks in understanding of the Faith.
I shall hope that those who read her journals may come to some understanding and compassion regarding someone who truly means no harm to any - particularly to the gods. And I shall work that those who yet do not understand her may come to have compassion upon her, as it is not rare for many to misunderstand the workings and ways of the gods. For some, like my protege, the understanding comes slowly; and yet, her desire to learn is as true and earnest as is her every word.
Written By Thea
Feb. 26, 2020, 7:12 p.m.(10/28/1012 AR)
Dear Kennexes,
I will happily take a rabbit or two off your hands if caught. You know...For reasons.
I will happily take a rabbit or two off your hands if caught. You know...For reasons.
Written By Ilsa
Feb. 26, 2020, 6:22 p.m.(10/28/1012 AR)
I have been given an opportunity that, I am quite certain, may only come once in a lifetime. I sincerely hope I do not embarrass myself. Oh dear. I will have to buy a new dress at the tailor's.
Written By Hamish
Feb. 26, 2020, 6:21 p.m.(10/28/1012 AR)
Our Queen loves the spider not merely because she weaves, but because she she does so knowing it will not last.
Written By Nina
Feb. 26, 2020, 3:25 p.m.(10/28/1012 AR)
Relationship Note on Theophania
Theophania may become a friend. We both have simple and modest ambitions to live better futures from humble backgrounds. It was so very kind of her to present me with a custom lute, so it seemed right that I should also show her some of the basics! Having hands dyed blue is a small disappointment but at least it is a point of commonality between many in Arx today!
Written By Nina
Feb. 26, 2020, 3:21 p.m.(10/28/1012 AR)
The Thorn challenges are so very difficult! I suppose they are even more difficult than I anticipated, but that just shows the amount of knowledge and skills that the nobles possess. To be a better courtier, I must strive to learn so much more.
Written By Sydney
Feb. 26, 2020, 3:01 p.m.(10/28/1012 AR)
Relationship Note on Gabriella
Some languages are spoken by only a handful of people. When I have the opportunity to interact with those who understand it so joyfully and profoundly, I can't help but find myself reinvigorated.
Were I a woman capable of holding a tune or crafting poems, my pen would be working furiously so that I might tell each and every detail to its fullest.
I shall settle for alluding to it here, that it may be remembered if only by the two.
Were I a woman capable of holding a tune or crafting poems, my pen would be working furiously so that I might tell each and every detail to its fullest.
I shall settle for alluding to it here, that it may be remembered if only by the two.
Written By Porter
Feb. 26, 2020, 2:52 p.m.(10/28/1012 AR)
Relationship Note on Catalana
It's honestly not me. Someone is setting me up.
Written By Krarstin
Feb. 26, 2020, 2:52 p.m.(10/28/1012 AR)
A Tidelord wields courage and wears the armor of honor as it hunts the monsters of the dark depths and the unjust such as those who enslave others. My grandchildren look to the horizon with desire for the challenges that are out there to be found, the sea calls them.
As my grandchildren navigate over the seas and oceans, there’s storms, cloudy and foggy days which are always encountered to impede their journey which threatens to send them astray. But they use a special stone I’ve given them to navigate, a waystone. It keeps the ships on course to not only hunt our prey but to return home so tales can be shared.
I tell my grandchildren, “Just as you use the waystone to guide your course when the weather is difficult, remember to keep your honor and courage deep in your heart. Life also will be difficult to navigate, and having courage and honor in your heart can help you return home always, or to return to the Shining Lands and be welcomed to the hall of heroes to feast in glory forever.”
Find your waystone to guide you through dark times in life so you make the right decision.
As my grandchildren navigate over the seas and oceans, there’s storms, cloudy and foggy days which are always encountered to impede their journey which threatens to send them astray. But they use a special stone I’ve given them to navigate, a waystone. It keeps the ships on course to not only hunt our prey but to return home so tales can be shared.
I tell my grandchildren, “Just as you use the waystone to guide your course when the weather is difficult, remember to keep your honor and courage deep in your heart. Life also will be difficult to navigate, and having courage and honor in your heart can help you return home always, or to return to the Shining Lands and be welcomed to the hall of heroes to feast in glory forever.”
Find your waystone to guide you through dark times in life so you make the right decision.
Written By Valdemar
Feb. 26, 2020, 1:43 p.m.(10/28/1012 AR)
Relationship Note on Revell
Goodwoman Revell, it seems that you still misunderstand the purpose of the meditation that you attended. Whatever weakness or negative emotion someone may bring up during that ritual, that is the purpose of it, rather than the cause of said emotion. Too often, we hide those aspects of ourselves, enough that we will even lie to ourselves about their existence. By focusing on the cause, rather than the existence of those things within us, we risk false justification for the negative emotions that we may be prone to in general.
Take, for instance, the feeling that many were expressing at the ritual you attended: anger. Many words were used for it, but that is what it was. Now, say I was angry that day because of the weather. It was too warm, and being sweaty pisses me off. The next time I attend such a ritual, I am angry again, this time because my breakfast was late that morning. A third time, I am angry yet again, this time because a passing carriage ran through a puddle and splashed water on me. Does the problem here seem to be with the various causes of my anger, or something withing myself?
Take, for instance, the feeling that many were expressing at the ritual you attended: anger. Many words were used for it, but that is what it was. Now, say I was angry that day because of the weather. It was too warm, and being sweaty pisses me off. The next time I attend such a ritual, I am angry again, this time because my breakfast was late that morning. A third time, I am angry yet again, this time because a passing carriage ran through a puddle and splashed water on me. Does the problem here seem to be with the various causes of my anger, or something withing myself?
Written By Lucita
Feb. 26, 2020, 11:54 a.m.(10/27/1012 AR)
Relationship Note on Porter
If you succeed in catching the rabbit you said you were unsuccessfully chasing, please, please, please do not give it to the twins, maybe the cook, rabbit stew is good, but no more pets for them!
Written By Lucene
Feb. 26, 2020, 11:08 a.m.(10/27/1012 AR)
I have a Voice.
This may very well be temporary, but for the time being, I have influence and I am expected to act on the behalf of House Gilden. I was never raised to shoulder this type responsibility, and I fear I am woefully under-qualified. Fortunately, all that means is that I have to spend much more time surrounded by books and studying people wiser and more experienced than I.
It will be difficult, but I am nothing if not stubborn.
This may very well be temporary, but for the time being, I have influence and I am expected to act on the behalf of House Gilden. I was never raised to shoulder this type responsibility, and I fear I am woefully under-qualified. Fortunately, all that means is that I have to spend much more time surrounded by books and studying people wiser and more experienced than I.
It will be difficult, but I am nothing if not stubborn.
Written By Delilah
Feb. 26, 2020, 9:21 a.m.(10/27/1012 AR)
It's good to get into the forest again. To breathe in the cooling air and walk under the trees, feeling the slow drop of the temperature as the altitude rises. The last few switchbacks on a path little taken brought me to the most exhilarating views, and the Aerie Wardens have set up their camp there to practice before the snows close in. I suspect winter will be harsher this year, but these are considerations for the Minister of Agriculture and everyone else far more familiar with the practical elements. I don't pretend to read the skies with knowledge of what comes in months ahead for the weather. I just chart and track the stars.
Still, it was so clear at those heights we could stay all night until dawn, freezing cold and admiring of the sky, marking out the charts as best we could. The records will end up at the observatory, well and good, and then we can compare them to similar efforts taken elsewhere. I ought to ask some of the noble houses to assist with the endeavours, if they have those inclined towards academic measures. Tracking out the stars is not a mere novelty but the very basis for so much important study and science, navigation foremost among them.
But my hands are freezing and my nose barely something I can feel. Returning to Arx is thrilling and nearly a let down, in some ways, after getting up to heights that would let me touch the sky.
Still, it was so clear at those heights we could stay all night until dawn, freezing cold and admiring of the sky, marking out the charts as best we could. The records will end up at the observatory, well and good, and then we can compare them to similar efforts taken elsewhere. I ought to ask some of the noble houses to assist with the endeavours, if they have those inclined towards academic measures. Tracking out the stars is not a mere novelty but the very basis for so much important study and science, navigation foremost among them.
But my hands are freezing and my nose barely something I can feel. Returning to Arx is thrilling and nearly a let down, in some ways, after getting up to heights that would let me touch the sky.
Please note that the scholars may take some time preparing your journal for others to read.