Written By Niklas
Aug. 17, 2019, midnight(9/1/1011 AR)
Who let Oswyn leave while I was away?!
Written By Saoirse
Aug. 16, 2019, 11:12 p.m.(9/1/1011 AR)
Relationship Note on Maja
To be honest, it's why I told him he can't marry into any other house.
Written By Sparte
Aug. 16, 2019, 9 p.m.(9/1/1011 AR)
Relationship Note on Elisha
A blessing or a curse is in the way you look at a thing.
Written By Delia
Aug. 16, 2019, 8:31 p.m.(8/28/1011 AR)
Relationship Note on Maja
What a lovely and fitting title for you. Except you are naturally quite a lot brighter than a starling.
Written By Jyri
Aug. 16, 2019, 6:15 p.m.(8/28/1011 AR)
Relationship Note on Elloise
Mending what trouble? What fork to eat with?
Written By Aiden
Aug. 16, 2019, 4:04 p.m.(8/28/1011 AR)
I've come to understand people in our society feel that they must be the subject matter on everyone's lips to feel important, and everyone must know the ins and outs of their lives for them to feel accepted... Or they have to be involved in many many things, to be known. Or perhaps they must die doing something incredibly brave or incredibly stupid to be remembered and appreciated. Such a tragic reality, in the long run.
I was no better. No. I recall what it felt like, to feel inadequate. I remember what I did, to try to be accepted by people who still, to this day, have no place for me in their lives. Oh Vellichor, I laugh at my younger self now. What a pity I wasted all those hours trying to impress people by doing things beyond who I was... for the mere hope of acceptance. I have such a different social circle now, none within whom I need to impress. I hope others take heed in such life lessons, before they waste years of their lives trying to climb social ladders that really, aren't meant for them to climb.
I think, some people will always keep you out of their lives, out of their stories, out of the important decisions they make, all the while trying to keep you content by a kind word said or a whispered promise of inclusion. Some will speak to you as a friend and then when you turn your back, tear you down to another... my mentor says this is part of the political gambit and all too well expected. It was a hard lesson I have learned, in that I should not put effort into these people.
To you, dear reader, I say, these people, are not your people, so do not lay your head low with sadness my friends, if you are excluded or not spoken of in high esteem. Do recall there is a whole world of people to meet, some whom we've yet to embrace into our society. I have faith, you will meet the right ones, when it is time for you to do so and when you do, they will embrace you as a loved one and as your true tribe.
Further, through my own learning and growing, I've come to understand that I've gotten the the most out of my life by following my passions and pursuing my dreams. Not someone else's passions. Not someone else's dreams. When I started to do this, actively pursuing my own dreams, those who were meant to walk beside me, arrived with me on that journey, and they have grown with me, and they have dreamed with me.. and they have never required something of me more than what I was already willing to give.
I say friends, there will be no ladders to climb when you find your people because they will be on your level, becoming a true treasured part of your dream. One that you should appreciate in the moment and walk with them while they're with you. So many personal losses reminded me of that.
Overall, the best part of this journey since I started to actively focus on my dreams? I've been filled with an inner peace and a contentedness. I no longer worry about what I cannot control. I no longer worry about showing up at every social event, although I do miss dressing up once and a while, and I no longer worry about trivial things, or even the larger scale things that constantly threaten our lives. I realized I'm not here to try to figure it all out, I'm only here to impart my dream upon the greater dream.
So I try to do that. Every day.
That said, I love my life as it is. I love my wife, Grazia, a woman I couldn't now think to walk without. I love my two daughters, Ailenya and Zaria... the mornings that I get to spend filled with their little arms around me I treasure happily. I love my beloved Silas, a man that's kept my heart for five years now and has supported me through so much of my growth. I love my mother, father, sister and my brother. I love the extended family and all my friends. I love the adventures life now brings. I love the freedom to pursue my dreams and the fact that I've already accomplished much more than I ever thought I would have.
I love, that I am loved.
Friends. When you stop competing to be loved, to be known, to be ... whatever it is you think will bring you inner satisfaction, and when you instead start a more focused life truly going after what passion sings in your heart, your journey, whatever that is meant to be, will be much more fulfilling and make a lot more sense. It won't be easier, but it will be more rewarding in the end.
Oh and there is Zaria now, she needs me.
Ever Poised and Always Soaring,
Aiden
I was no better. No. I recall what it felt like, to feel inadequate. I remember what I did, to try to be accepted by people who still, to this day, have no place for me in their lives. Oh Vellichor, I laugh at my younger self now. What a pity I wasted all those hours trying to impress people by doing things beyond who I was... for the mere hope of acceptance. I have such a different social circle now, none within whom I need to impress. I hope others take heed in such life lessons, before they waste years of their lives trying to climb social ladders that really, aren't meant for them to climb.
I think, some people will always keep you out of their lives, out of their stories, out of the important decisions they make, all the while trying to keep you content by a kind word said or a whispered promise of inclusion. Some will speak to you as a friend and then when you turn your back, tear you down to another... my mentor says this is part of the political gambit and all too well expected. It was a hard lesson I have learned, in that I should not put effort into these people.
To you, dear reader, I say, these people, are not your people, so do not lay your head low with sadness my friends, if you are excluded or not spoken of in high esteem. Do recall there is a whole world of people to meet, some whom we've yet to embrace into our society. I have faith, you will meet the right ones, when it is time for you to do so and when you do, they will embrace you as a loved one and as your true tribe.
Further, through my own learning and growing, I've come to understand that I've gotten the the most out of my life by following my passions and pursuing my dreams. Not someone else's passions. Not someone else's dreams. When I started to do this, actively pursuing my own dreams, those who were meant to walk beside me, arrived with me on that journey, and they have grown with me, and they have dreamed with me.. and they have never required something of me more than what I was already willing to give.
I say friends, there will be no ladders to climb when you find your people because they will be on your level, becoming a true treasured part of your dream. One that you should appreciate in the moment and walk with them while they're with you. So many personal losses reminded me of that.
Overall, the best part of this journey since I started to actively focus on my dreams? I've been filled with an inner peace and a contentedness. I no longer worry about what I cannot control. I no longer worry about showing up at every social event, although I do miss dressing up once and a while, and I no longer worry about trivial things, or even the larger scale things that constantly threaten our lives. I realized I'm not here to try to figure it all out, I'm only here to impart my dream upon the greater dream.
So I try to do that. Every day.
That said, I love my life as it is. I love my wife, Grazia, a woman I couldn't now think to walk without. I love my two daughters, Ailenya and Zaria... the mornings that I get to spend filled with their little arms around me I treasure happily. I love my beloved Silas, a man that's kept my heart for five years now and has supported me through so much of my growth. I love my mother, father, sister and my brother. I love the extended family and all my friends. I love the adventures life now brings. I love the freedom to pursue my dreams and the fact that I've already accomplished much more than I ever thought I would have.
I love, that I am loved.
Friends. When you stop competing to be loved, to be known, to be ... whatever it is you think will bring you inner satisfaction, and when you instead start a more focused life truly going after what passion sings in your heart, your journey, whatever that is meant to be, will be much more fulfilling and make a lot more sense. It won't be easier, but it will be more rewarding in the end.
Oh and there is Zaria now, she needs me.
Ever Poised and Always Soaring,
Aiden
Written By Peri
Aug. 16, 2019, 1:32 p.m.(8/28/1011 AR)
Relationship Note on Maja
...the resplendent iridescent.
Written By Elloise
Aug. 16, 2019, 12:06 p.m.(8/28/1011 AR)
The consensus of the whites has no bearing on my scientific discoveries -- or any lack thereof -- but the outrage spouted did give me an idea or two. I certainly would be open to spending a while with the shav people. ABANDONED, they call themselves. I can find no fault in further research -- there is always more to learn!
I do not negate or amend my thesis thus far, except to say: Prodigals are proving themselves not within this group. Suffice it to say, they have become too embroiled in our over cultured society, false politeness and fake smiles. Alas, for I had hoped such a group could help mend the trouble I see in our cities.
I like philosophy too! A science of society, even! Who knew! Oh dear, oh me, oh my, wherever will I find the time!??!
I look forward to putting new knowledge and further questions to work.
I do not negate or amend my thesis thus far, except to say: Prodigals are proving themselves not within this group. Suffice it to say, they have become too embroiled in our over cultured society, false politeness and fake smiles. Alas, for I had hoped such a group could help mend the trouble I see in our cities.
I like philosophy too! A science of society, even! Who knew! Oh dear, oh me, oh my, wherever will I find the time!??!
I look forward to putting new knowledge and further questions to work.
Written By Preston
Aug. 16, 2019, 10:57 a.m.(8/28/1011 AR)
Relationship Note on Arn
It is difficult to hear of losses, especially when it was places we had hoped to help but were unable to due to our commitments in other locations. I do not know if we could have altered the outcome of the battle at Highhill Crossing. Perhaps had we been more involved in the planning even if we could not attend, we could have warned away from some part of it. I doubt it though, I do not think changing Duke Arn's mind from anything is an easy task. Though maybe in future we will ensure even if we cannot help that we can provide advise as requested, and I will look to how that can be done.
My main encounter with Duke Arn was over the Telmar Sword and Bliss Whisper. As others have suggested, Arn's propensity to call all younger men boy was there - it made me smile. I do not think many call the Grandmaster of the Templars boy whatever his age, but it is true enough. Once he had his say, he listened. And though it took time he came to a right decision. But once he had made his mind up for certain, that was it, he wished to move on. Next thing. Next problem.
I am sorry I will not get to convince him of the wisdom of a Templar fort in the Telmarch. But, I will smile whenever I hear someone gruffly yell out 'Boy'.
My main encounter with Duke Arn was over the Telmar Sword and Bliss Whisper. As others have suggested, Arn's propensity to call all younger men boy was there - it made me smile. I do not think many call the Grandmaster of the Templars boy whatever his age, but it is true enough. Once he had his say, he listened. And though it took time he came to a right decision. But once he had made his mind up for certain, that was it, he wished to move on. Next thing. Next problem.
I am sorry I will not get to convince him of the wisdom of a Templar fort in the Telmarch. But, I will smile whenever I hear someone gruffly yell out 'Boy'.
Written By Thesarin
Aug. 16, 2019, 10:25 a.m.(8/28/1011 AR)
Relationship Note on Reigna
I weren't only speaking of the Crownlands tribes.
Written By Delilah
Aug. 16, 2019, 10:24 a.m.(8/28/1011 AR)
Once in a while, the pieces fall together just as intended. No delays, no quarrelsome diversions, no troubling holes in the plot or the plan. They simply fit nice and tidy. It's not common this happens, so take advantage of it while it does. And now I get to watch fifteen people lay grass again around the disturbed foundations of the manor, and soon enough, we can watch the leaves fall from the trees from a vantage that feels like it's enveloped in nature.
Written By Sabella
Aug. 16, 2019, 9:20 a.m.(8/28/1011 AR)
Last night was the first Grayson family dinner that Nik and I have attended in quite awhile and it was an AMAZING TIME! It was just so delightful to see everyone again! It made my heart ache that we were away for so long, but in a good way because we're back and where we need to be! Of course while we were away we both kept up with the finances and boring details like that which I won't recount here for no one comes to the archives to sleep, but it's just so fantastic to be able to speak with and hug those dearest to me that I've missed so badly while we were away!
Speaking of hugs, Princess Caith was one of the first people to greet us when we came back into the city and I do believe these arms that are so used to carrying and snuggling babies gave her the hug of a lifetime when I first saw her!
But truly, the welcoming we have received has been so warm and receptive it is like we never left! I am greatly looking forward to more Grayson family dinners and friends new and old!
Speaking of hugs, Princess Caith was one of the first people to greet us when we came back into the city and I do believe these arms that are so used to carrying and snuggling babies gave her the hug of a lifetime when I first saw her!
But truly, the welcoming we have received has been so warm and receptive it is like we never left! I am greatly looking forward to more Grayson family dinners and friends new and old!
Written By Sabella
Aug. 16, 2019, 8:28 a.m.(8/27/1011 AR)
Being back in Arx is just absolutely amazing! I never realized how much I had come to consider this place my home until we spent so long in Bastion. I have to thank my dear husband for being so willing to endure so many of the same conversations from the same people. Through it all he remained of good cheer and a wit I think everyone except my mother enjoyed!
We've returned to the city with two more children in tow, a surprise to everyone except possibly the babies themselves! We expected Lucia of course and thought the difficulty of the birth was due to her insisting on landing on her feet in the world, but then not two minutes later Clareese came bawling her way out and I'm not sure if she's stopped since! In retrospect perhaps we should have reversed the names for Lucia is so sweet and quiet with a head of golden hair and Clareese is never quiet, always insistent on something or other without a trace of hair on her perfect head! So of course we've invested in quite a few bonnets. I'm told Duchess Lisebet and Duke Harlan also had twins! It's lead me to wonder whether one can truly be called a mother in Arx if they haven't had twins yet, a joke my own mother did not appreciate what with having three beautiful but singular daughters! I assure you, gentle readers, I was not serious and quite exhausted when I jested so! Mothers are mothers whether they have one child at a time and by whatever means they happen to acquire them.
I am sad to hear that Scholar Oswyn has gone exploring yet again. Sad for me, but happy for him that he is still out there pursuing his dreams! I've been told this scholar is very good although I've yet to catch her name yet and we've had a discussion about exclamation points and agreed to disagree! I've also noticed that Mistress Aurora is not about the city. Is it too much to hope that she followed him out wherever he was headed!?
Probably. But hope endures!
We've returned to the city with two more children in tow, a surprise to everyone except possibly the babies themselves! We expected Lucia of course and thought the difficulty of the birth was due to her insisting on landing on her feet in the world, but then not two minutes later Clareese came bawling her way out and I'm not sure if she's stopped since! In retrospect perhaps we should have reversed the names for Lucia is so sweet and quiet with a head of golden hair and Clareese is never quiet, always insistent on something or other without a trace of hair on her perfect head! So of course we've invested in quite a few bonnets. I'm told Duchess Lisebet and Duke Harlan also had twins! It's lead me to wonder whether one can truly be called a mother in Arx if they haven't had twins yet, a joke my own mother did not appreciate what with having three beautiful but singular daughters! I assure you, gentle readers, I was not serious and quite exhausted when I jested so! Mothers are mothers whether they have one child at a time and by whatever means they happen to acquire them.
I am sad to hear that Scholar Oswyn has gone exploring yet again. Sad for me, but happy for him that he is still out there pursuing his dreams! I've been told this scholar is very good although I've yet to catch her name yet and we've had a discussion about exclamation points and agreed to disagree! I've also noticed that Mistress Aurora is not about the city. Is it too much to hope that she followed him out wherever he was headed!?
Probably. But hope endures!
Written By Maja
Aug. 16, 2019, 5:29 a.m.(8/27/1011 AR)
Relationship Note on Dante
Tonight, I made a wonderful new friend who has the most wonderful name:
DANTE FIDANTE.
I am intensely jealous of the way his name just rolls so joyfully off the tongue. After spit-balling a few names for his future children (so that the greatness of his name will carry on for generations), we decided that I needed a newer, better name for myself. So while you may know me as Maja, I am now:
The Darling Starling of Whisper House.
DANTE FIDANTE.
I am intensely jealous of the way his name just rolls so joyfully off the tongue. After spit-balling a few names for his future children (so that the greatness of his name will carry on for generations), we decided that I needed a newer, better name for myself. So while you may know me as Maja, I am now:
The Darling Starling of Whisper House.
Written By Vanora
Aug. 16, 2019, 2:50 a.m.(8/27/1011 AR)
Relationship Note on Lucita
An instrumental, what a lovely task to have before you. I am almost never asked to write for people, but I suppose I also don't often tell them I can.
Should you need a first listener, or even a seventh or eighth, I hope you'll call on me.
Should you need a first listener, or even a seventh or eighth, I hope you'll call on me.
Written By Tikva
Aug. 15, 2019, 10:21 p.m.(8/27/1011 AR)
Having Princess Sabella and Prince Niklas back in the city to grace the dining hall with their brightness and energy has served as something of a restorative upon my spirits far superior to that terrible ginger cordial Imori keeps pushing at me.
Written By Arcadia
Aug. 15, 2019, 10:14 p.m.(8/27/1011 AR)
Whoever keeps sending fruit baskets to my home each morning please stop.
Send cheese and olives. I could eat cheese and olives all day and long.
Send cheese and olives. I could eat cheese and olives all day and long.
Written By Caith
Aug. 15, 2019, 10:13 p.m.(8/27/1011 AR)
Relationship Note on Saoirse
I'm coming for you specifically, Saoirse! Hugging you successfully is PEAK hug-training.
(Below the text is a drawing of a smiley-faced stick figure flexing -- this is, presumably, a depiction of Caith about to get her hug on)
(Below the text is a drawing of a smiley-faced stick figure flexing -- this is, presumably, a depiction of Caith about to get her hug on)
Written By Miranda
Aug. 15, 2019, 9:30 p.m.(8/27/1011 AR)
Relationship Note on Dariel
Pookie...
...
Just thinking of you.
...
Just thinking of you.
Written By Lucita
Aug. 15, 2019, 8:11 p.m.(8/26/1011 AR)
Relationship Note on Bianca
So much to catch up on since seeing you last! Songs sung, deeds done, family losses. It will take more than one visit to cover all the questions we ask each other.
Please note that the scholars may take some time preparing your journal for others to read.