Written By Thena
Sept. 23, 2018, 5:28 p.m.(8/26/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Khanne
Never mind, scholar. It could only end badly.
Written By Alessandro
Sept. 23, 2018, 5:18 p.m.(8/26/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Ida
Written By Bliss
Sept. 23, 2018, 4:30 p.m.(8/26/1009 AR)
Then there are the days like today. They usually happen when I have been talking about it more, when the nightmares come back. That night, so long ago, where everything was going so well until suddenly it wasn't.
The sounds of their horses behind me, the sudden realization that they were coming for me, the pure panic that coursed through me as I tried to defend myself even when I knew that, this time, I wasn't going to make it out.
The triumphant sneer on his face as he ran my shoulder through, watched me collapse as I understood that I was ruined, feeling the warm, wet blood pouring down my side, the agony beyond anything that I have felt before or since as they left me to die.
I woke up screaming today, my face wet with tears. I needed help getting dressed, my arm is stiff and useless right now. It will get better as the day goes on. It's in a sling. None of this is new.
So I repeat the mantra that I've learned helps, the truth of the situation: I didn't deserve this. It wasn't my fault. I didn't deserve this. It wasn't my fault. I didn't deserve this. It wasn't my fault.
I didn't deserve this.
It wasn't my fault.
Yes, they had their reasons. Their reasons make what happened even worse. I didn't deserve this. It wasn't my fault. I did nothing wrong.
And the pain begins to fade, and is replaced with anger and determination.
This is the most I have ever written publicly on what happened to me. For the longest time, no one would believe me. This is only a small fraction of my story.
But trauma is an unusual thing. Trauma has a way of playing in our minds, again and again, of whispering its lies to us, of making us believe that what happened was something that we deserved, or that we should have been smarter, or known our place, or any number of things. Some days, we believe these ridiculous untruths. Some days we fall apart again. We are allowed to do this. We shouldn't feel ashamed for being human.
I am not the only one in this city, by any means, who has experienced trauma. There have been two major wars in recent years, assassinations, monsters, and we are waking up and understanding just how terrifying the world we live in is.
I have heard that in a land far, far to the east, they repair their pottery with gold, turning the cracks and flaws into something beautiful and unique. Resilience is beautiful. Our flaws can be made to be beautiful.
I don't hide my scars anymore. My pain is as much a part of who I am as anything else, part of this great song that is my life. It is a reminder that no matter how terrible the world is outside of our walls, the monsters within them can do so much. It is a reminder to not stay quiet. To demand people be better. To be better, myself.
Written By Harper
Sept. 23, 2018, 4:23 p.m.(8/26/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Jyri
In all seriousness, I'm honored to be Ravaas' godmother. I'll make sure to spoil him, I mean take care of him, real well. I promise!
Written By Merek
Sept. 23, 2018, 4:16 p.m.(8/26/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Laric
Written By Merek
Sept. 23, 2018, 4:12 p.m.(8/26/1009 AR)
Written By Khanne
Sept. 23, 2018, 4:11 p.m.(8/26/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Aleksei
It was me.
Though, not to bruise your ego.... but... it was because of the hand that drew it more than the subject.
Not that the subject matter is hard to look at at all.... The subject is rather pleasing, of course.
I promise no darts will be thrown at it.
Well, probably. Free choice and all.... I can promise that most likely I will not throw darts at it.
Probably.
Written By Edain
Sept. 23, 2018, 4:02 p.m.(8/26/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Lethe
Everytime I ask my smartest scholars, shipwrights and crafters in Sanctum they always say, "Please stop asking for this your grace. It is very, very dumb."
Written By Lethe
Sept. 23, 2018, 3:57 p.m.(8/26/1009 AR)
Written By Delilah
Sept. 23, 2018, 3:32 p.m.(8/26/1009 AR)
Written By Mayir
Sept. 23, 2018, 2:49 p.m.(8/26/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Perronne
Second of all, I want to be very clear that Perronne is WONDERFUL. She can talk a merchant into selling the shirt off his back to her. At half price! She's just that good!
Finally of all, I want to be very clear that I really enjoy hanging out with Perronne. I guess we could probably make more money off of our venture together, buying and selling in bulk. But the thrill of the hunt for a seller, the back and forth over price. Well, it is a rush! And all the clients we have! It's a great way to be plugged into the City.
P.S. Here is the flyer I put together! I think it's pretty neat! Hire us!
* * *
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(( In smaller letters at the bottom ))
Mayir Grayhope
Partner, Amboise & Grayhope Bespoke Brokerage Services
Written By Kenna
Sept. 23, 2018, 2:48 p.m.(8/26/1009 AR)
Written By Cambria
Sept. 23, 2018, 2:37 p.m.(8/26/1009 AR)
Of course, and here we come to my main point, you do not have to be under the weather to drink when you wake up. Therefore, to atone for medicining the good grape, I intend to write a bit on what to drink with breakfast when hale and healthy. As a word of caution: before following my sage advice, know that this is not a practice for the novice.
Written By Jyri
Sept. 23, 2018, 2:07 p.m.(8/26/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Harper
I guess you're glue. Ain't that some compliment?
Written By Vanora
Sept. 23, 2018, 1:01 p.m.(8/26/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Josephine
Written By Marian
Sept. 23, 2018, 11:56 a.m.(8/26/1009 AR)
Relationship Note on Alarissa
Written By Marian
Sept. 23, 2018, 11:49 a.m.(8/26/1009 AR)
Written By Arthen
Sept. 23, 2018, 11:35 a.m.(8/26/1009 AR)
When I first got back to Arx, I shook some silver knights around and banged on some doors, but I didn't managed to hunt down the other men and women who used to work with me. Some of them ain't in Arx any longer, and two of them have passed on. An explorer's life can get snapped up just like that, sometimes. Adventuring is a merciless pursuit. I was real happy, yesterday, to get a letter from Too Tall, who is looking to unretire himself and sign back on with the crew. Given the time, I might even get the rest of them.
Written By Lisebet
Sept. 23, 2018, 10:28 a.m.(8/26/1009 AR)
Written By Rowenova
Sept. 23, 2018, 10:06 a.m.(8/25/1009 AR)
We (Master Draven, Sir Floppington, and I) had a nice brunch and lovely convo with the wonderful hostess (Princess Valencia) and all those who showed up!
I 'missed out' on the drinking game (after coming back from work Things), but a fortuitous opportunity came up!
Master Draven kindly offered me our first dance to live music (Harp Music by Master Ezekiel). It is a glorious memory that I will never ever forget!
Please note that the scholars may take some time preparing your journal for others to read.